Décor

Décor

On the average, boys becoming men choose disarray. Girls becoming women choose order.

Walk into any college dorm and be witness.

When men move into their first apartment, they decorate in what mom and dad gave them plus what they saw discarded on the street. Women need to color coordinate or it’s no thanks mom and dad.

When men move into their first condo or home, they might have a little money left at the end of a pay check to pick a recliner, card table and a huge TV.

When women move into a condo or home they build a nest.

Of course, our renaissance man has an eye for beauty.

Many men start thinking at this point, what can I do to attract a female? This is the stuff of comedy, because they think their good looks or great job will win the day. They don’t think about decorating.

Finally and somehow married a man retreats into an area he has learned is called a man cave. The wife retreats to her friends wondering what she was thinking when she married this slob. He forgets the toilet seat, leaves clothes on the floor, puts rotting food everywhere but the trash, etc. Basically, she becomes a mom without giving birth. She educates and the man who loves her listens and learns. Sometimes. Ever wonder why there’s a huge divorce rate besides infidelity?

All this doesn’t have to be in real life if the girl/woman chooses a metro-sexual or Renaissance man. In the movies and romance novels this stuff just makes us smile or laugh. It is also one more barrier to overcome before we reach a neat and tidy HEA (happily-ever-after).

The moral of the story for any author is that the descriptive details and the heroine’s reaction to them is priceless. But don’t force it. If the hero wants to be or is an architect or any other type that celebrates the beauty of all things, use it to your advantage once again in the descriptive assessment of the heroine.

Happy Holidays...

Alpha revisited

The Alpha male revisited

I have promoted Beta males for romantic leads. A Beta male is someone who is sensitive and celebrates the needs of other people. Often described as a renaissance man. The publishers often ask for Alphas, particularly Harlequin. Why? Using the Alpha formula for story often writes itself. The stakes are raised scene by scene, the internal war to become a better man is intense, because he’s in an environment that challenges his beliefs. The beliefs can be considered strange to most normal human beings. The Alpha lives in an egocentric universe in which everything he thinks and does is correct and right. There is no moral right or wrong. It’s his way or the highway.

I have accepted a challenge from myself to write the ultimate Alpha, since my heroes are typically Betas. I’m enjoying it to no end. For me, it is so easy to write into every scene a shift or change in how the hero experiences the world. His heroine is everything he hates and visa-versa. This is extreme, a baptism of fire for me. But when I’m done, I’ll feel like I accomplished a great deal. I already feel like I’m saving two (imaginary) souls. This overboard feeling is warranted when a reader feels uplifted by the story, when a reader changes his or her life because of a piece of fiction.

Flirting

Flirting

From the male POV, flirting is the first step to having sex.

When a female flirts, it means she likes the male.

These are, of course, gross generalizations, but they’re useful when writing in any genre.

Since men are more visual on the average they are primarily attracted to a female who looks good. In a flirt, if the flirt is returned, he decides how to advance, given the words and body language he observes to guide him.

A woman flirts. If the man returns the flirt, she immediately receives validation of her attractiveness, which is often enough. She is also showing the male her attraction.

I’m sure nearly all of us recognize that when the opposite sex walks by there is a difference in the way the opposites look at each other in comparison to the way the same sex look at each other. For the opposites, there’s an acknowledgement, much weaker than a flirt that what they see is attractive or at least an acknowledgement of the way God made us.

Conflict in flirts comes from the difference in the way men and women think. It is often shown in the reactions to a cute meet by an expert writer. Flirts don’t end after a cute meet or any other initial meeting. Couples often flirt with their mate to encourage or show a need for sex. Here the male and female response is closer in purpose. Realize the a female flirting with her mate might also be rewarding him for his love.

Let me finish where I started by saying that these simple rules are meant to be broken, when it serves the story and reality.

Purpose

Purpose

What do they teach us to do as writers?

Make sure to address the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How of your story.

The Why is closely linked to Purpose. The story and its characters must have a purpose. Often the hero and heroine’s purpose shifts during the story, scene by scene. This shifting purpose is similar to the arc but isn’t. An arc is change. Purpose is direction or philosophy. Humans without purpose have a diminished life. If your character(s) start out this way they had better come around to it or you have no story. If their purpose is faulty when compared to societal norms, this is okay. It depends on the story the author wants to tell. In Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe the purpose was to show us that things fall apart.

In the movie Casablanca, the purpose for both Rick and Ilsa was to show that they didn’t amount to a hill of beans when compared to the higher purpose of defeating Nazism.

In romances with a traditional happy ending, the purpose is to show that the hero and heroine have each other’s love as a purpose for living. In a Christian romance we are taught that love is the purpose for living (love thy God and neighbor).

Tweaking tropes

Tweaking your tropes
In a recent Hallmark movie, the hero and heroine who have not met yet, are standing in line for coffee. A different two, run into each other spilling their coffees on each other. The hero feels compelled to strike up a conversation with the heroine about the meet-cute they just witnessed.
Tweaking tropes alert.
The actual meet-cute in the movie was the hero and heroine discussing the meet-cute they just witnessed. The writers must have had fun with this twist.
It is our solemn duty to find ways to tweak our tropes. I wondered when I watched this twist if anyone but a writer would spot it. Probably not. But it doesn’t matter to the reader/watcher. They’re just enjoying the book/movie. They might sense that the characters feel more real or that there’s a natural connection happening. In any case, the scene is at least funny.
Homework: consider a trope and then tweak it and report back to me. Or give me any trope and I’ll tweak it.

Advanced body language

Fight, flight or surrender
In a wrestling match and other one-on-one contests the expression square-off is used. Most people, I assume, don’t have a clue what that means. I never thought about it until this concept grabbed me as a blog opportunity. I now recall the words of my wrestling coach in high school. Form a square or rectangle with your opponent. The coach also taught math. The expression square-off means face your opponent don’t let your body give away your next move. In this way you can move either direction in response to your opponent. For those who don’t see this picture your shoulders, hips, head and feet in a square with your opponent. In wrestling, we lean slightly toward our opponent and plant our feet outward at 45 degrees. These last two points don’t hold true in romance.
When a woman or man faces their opposite and assumes and holds a squaring off position they are saying many things. First, they have no fear that this war like stance could be misinterpreted. They are showing complete love and trust in their opposite. They are offering themselves completely to that person. They are assessing rather openly their willingness to commit to this person. They seek surrender and victory at the same time with the same body language.
Am I making too much of this? No, as a writer, it is your duty to the reader to show such subtleties. Enrich your story or risk being dismissed as unwilling to work hard or creating a hackneyed product or clichèd novel.
About the male POV: It is quite an accomplishment for a man, as warrior, to square-off with the heroine. He is a self assured, totally open, loving hero who is saying “I’m yours”.

Square-off and choose to surrender and win at the same time.

Vote for love

Vote for love
We, as writers, wrestle with love in every story. Romance writers always vote pro love.
Tuesday, we have much to consider when we actually vote for real life improvements. Some critics of romance say happily-ever-after is not the real world. Some also say that people choose what is in their best interest. Interesting, there is much philosophy to suggest our best interest is in choosing what is best for the group. In the movie, A Beautiful Mind, the men walk into a bar, notice a group of ladies. They all choose the blonde. The blonde rejects them all, so as to be in solidarity with her friends. If they talked it out before acting like fools they would have all gotten dates.
So what is in your hero or heroine’s best interest and what is your best interest on election day?
Here’s a dose of philosophy/theology for today and I might recommend, a lifetime.
Christian: Treat you neighbor as you would yourself (every human being is your neighbor).
Jewish: “I do not want followers who are righteous, rather I want followers who are too busy doing good that they won’t have time to do bad.” Rabbi Menachem Mendel Of Kotzk
Moslem: Certainly will the believers have succeeded. They who are during their prayer humbly submissive. And they who turn away from ill speech. Quram 23:1-3
Atheist: “Being a humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishments after you are dead.” Kurt Vonnegut
...
We have much work to do, so please vote. Listen to the words of a very smart man before you choose.
Einstein: “There are two things that are infinite, the universe and man’s stupidity... And I am not sure about the universe.”
So when you vote consider the greater good or in other words that which will be the most good for a majority of people. You’ll make out better because you are not alone. Besides, getting back to the bar scene, the redhead is prettier.

Mr. Darcy again?

Christmas at Pemberly Manor is inspired by the world of Pride and Prejudice. So Darcy fans, you will not be disappointed. Also, my hat off to the gorgeous and consummate actress, Jessica Lowndes, as our heroine. Not since Eloise Mumford have I seen such a beauty (Christmas with Holly, etc.). Michael Rady is no slouch either as William Darcy. This aired last night but you can find it.

I also enjoyed the subplots. It is rare that I’m confused for long as to who the eventual winner of her heart will be. There’s also a younger couple that offer many comic moments. And there’s a suspicious guy with a white beard and a lot of wisdom.

5 Stars.

Alternative cute meets

Playing fast and loose with the Cute Meet.

Billy Mernit’s definition of “Cute Meet” in his book, Writing the Romantic Comedy, is: The inciting incident that brings man and woman together and into conflict; an inventive but credible contrivance, often amusing which in some way sets the tone for the action to come.

The romances I have read or watched all had cute meets and in everyone of them the hero and heroine were both surprised during the cute meet. It may come to pass they he, she or they discover they had been set up, but never has the hero or the heroine set up the cute meet. If you have examples, please let me know because I’m drawing a blank.

I was witness to a real-life contrivance in which the heroine set up a cute meet with the object of her desire. She, a ballerina, showed up late for bar class. A hunky guy, motioned to her and made room to fit her on a four per bar, making it five with her in front of him. Since they switch directions, she had to be tortured by his exquisite form and visa versa. The mirror told her he noticed, and nearly too obviously. She devised a plan to intercept him on the way out of the building. After class, while he was talking with the instructor, she went upstairs, looped around to near the front steps and watched for him. She nonchalantly marched down the steps and ran right into him (with in an inch of his face) as if she had to go back to class for something she forgot. Okay ballerina's like karate experts can stop on a dime, but an accidental kiss would have been more to the point but this is what happened.

“Well hello,” she said.

You can fill in the rest.

Writing tip: don’t shy away with freshening up plot points with original ideas to make your novel memorable. Don’t do what everybody else does.

God Friended Me

Last week I watched 60 Minutes CBS and didn’t turn the TV off after the show. I was surprised and immediately intrigued by a new 1-hour long show, God Friended Me. I don’t usually watch much TV and my blog posts are usually about romance. But hold on, there’s romantic elements here, plus much food for thought. I can’t say how long I’ll continue to watch since my time is given to other pursuits and usually don’t like shows if they become too predictable. We’ll see…

The show’s star, and this is somewhat an ensemble, is a young, black man, atheist, who is really at odds with his minister father. He receives friend requests from God and consults his hacker friend. Then he gets requests, again from God, to friend one person after another. He resists and the hunt for the “fake” God is on. Meanwhile he saves the life of a potential suicide, a doctor who was just jilted by his girlfriend and had other problems… And was God’s friend recommendation.

Another God recommendation brings him to the white heroine, etc. They team up after a cute meet followed by an accident to her in which she is then treated by the doctor the hero saved.

The core of the story is the struggle between belief and unbelief, doing good and believing there is no good, love versus hate, family and its value and of course, faith.

A month ago I wrote about the difficulties of marriage due to misconceptions by younger newly marrieds. Below we have an article by Cathy Hutchinson that expands on the topic.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/voices/ive-been-married-for-over-30-years-and-i-can-tell-you-soulmates-are-a-myth/ar-AAAAVYb?ocid=spartandhp

The Blush

The Blush

Wiki: “Blushing is the reddening of a person’s face due to psychological reasons. It is normally involuntary and triggered by emotional stress, such as that associated with embarrassment, anger, or romantic stimulation.”

Here’s another from How To: “It is normally triggered by a social phobia such as shyness or embarrassment.”

According to research doctors blushing is governed by the same system that activates your flight or fight response: the sympathetic nervous system.

We’re not here to do medical research. We’re here to write better more believable characters. We should not tell the reader why the none-view point character blushed, we’re here to show why. Tough task. On the other hand, misinterpreting the blush (as an unreliable narrator or POV character should or would do) can lead to plot twists, black moments, comedy, etc.

Example: They were just friends and he wants to see if she’s romantically inclined. He says, “if you were my gal, I’d (insert something kindly or heroic).”

She blushes and tries to change the subject. BTW, men blush too, so this can be reversed.

Back to our hero. He assumes she’s romantically inclined after observing the blush and proceeds to get chummier. But she could be angry or embarrassed. There are other minor explanations for blushing which I’ll leave to the student of human nature, but I’ll suggest for the purpose of fiction to stay on main paths unless your hero or heroine is a doctor/researcher type.

Or, if in her POV, she could show internal thought to explain her reaction or perhaps she doesn’t fully understand her reaction since blushing is an involuntary response. It is possible, if she were angry, that it was a combination of symptoms. You see what I’m saying to all you detective Colombos out there? Don’t make it easy unless you have reached that point in their arcs where truth telling was a complete necessity. Hey, they’re in love, secretly, and it was about time they both said the truth and confirmed it with a kiss.

Trick question: Why do Victorian novels feature the blush and modern stories underutilize it? Note that since the blush is involuntary, and humans have not changed the blush is still alive and well and ready to be used as an arrow in your quiver of skills. I love you all. Now, I’m blushing.

The Perfect Match

The perfect match

When people partner up, they often describe their mate as perfect for them. They use terms like soulmate, they say, we read each other’s minds, we complete each other’s sentences. Some even feel a calling to dedicate their lives to making their other happy. In this perfect match, this feeling is reciprocated. It’s not 50/50, it is 100%/100%.

The younger you are, the more obstacles there are to achieve this.

First, many younger couples don’t think too deeply on this subject, if at all. They’re in lust and this is love. For those who do think about compatibility, there are likely big disappointments ahead. Those who don’t, may wake up someday and declare they have made a big mistake, “she’s lost interest in me, sexually [Male POV].” “He’s not sweet anymore.” With an approx. 50% divorce rate, something’s wrong for any type of couple, whether they are thoughtful or not.

The problem for thoughtful couples is in the dedication. How can you dedicate your life to the other, like a Mother Theresa, when you have responsibilities? There’re the kids, the jobs, social engagements, family.

You’re older now, more reflective. You may have a lot more time to make someone else happy, and passionately.

The moral of the story for writers. Don’t forget all the issues that tear couples apart. And consider “second time around” relationships as an open field to explore the meaning of dedication.

It is my opinion that to find the truest love is to know one’s purpose in the universe. To be fulfilled in an eternal way.

The five love languages

The Five Love Languages

Here follows a short summary of Doctor Gary Chapman’s book which is also free as in audio for thirty days. I start with my commentary.

As writers we need every reference we can get to understand better our characters. This holds especially true for the male POV, the basic subject of this blog. Dr. Chapman published his book, The Five Love languages in 1995 but the way men and women love each other never changes. As a reference I recommend the movie, Alpha, about life 20,000 years ago.

Chapman. The five (emotional) love languages are:

1. Words of affirmation. If this is your love language, you feel most cared for when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.

2. Acts of service. Ex.: If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going then this is your love language.

3. Affection. This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch, and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your primary love language.

4. Quality time. This love language is about being together, fully present and engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.

5. Gifts. Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel appreciated.

Here’s his point. People speak different love languages. Couples might not understand each other until they discover and learn the other’s primary language and then speak their partner’s language.

To understand this better and more completely Google or Bing a summary of his work.

Regarding the male POV: it's a good bet that physical intimacy is a guy's primary love language.

Bachelor in Paradise

ABC’s Bachelor in Paradise is a popular attempt to entertain us. The audience is split between all-ins and the I’m-not-liking-certain-aspects.

The premise is simple: put a bunch of bachelors and bachelorettes together in a tropical resort. Ask them to pair up or risk being sent home.

Who doesn’t want a vacation with someone beautiful or handsome? This is how it starts for many who come on the show.

The controversy starts with the various strategies or lack thereof of the contestants.

The approaches are:

1. Just have fun.

2. Find what you hope is your life mate, stick to him or her, and hope for the best. Every year at least one couple gets married.

3. Keep your eyes open if someone more suitable shows up and dump the person you are with. (New people come every week.)

4. Be friendly and hope someone sees merit in you. This passive approach doesn’t usually work.

5. Bitch and moan about what others are doing on the show. Being negative usually doesn’t work.

6. Figuratively stab someone in the back. Being an asshole is a ticket to being shamed on social media and becoming undesirable. It is also unethical.

As always, watching or panning depends on the preferences of the audience.

L=ƒ(ep²)

L=ƒ(ep²)

There is the love of couples, families and love of all humans, often called agàpe. Of course, there is the love of pets, animals, the earth, the universe (but not spiders). Are these loves the same? Is love a perfect state in which the giver is in 100%? Are we evolving into more loving men and women through education and the love of others for us?

Writing romances, one needs to grapple with this subject, to create more believable characters. In the defects (lack of love or fatal flaws), lies the inner and sometimes outer struggles.

If love is indivisible, how can one love be greater than another? If you are physically close to someone, you may more often demonstrate your love. Does this mean you love aunt Mable, who lives in Sweden, any less? Consider the case where two lovers are separated through no fault of their own. Must drive them crazy.

Enough questions. As writers of any type of fiction, we need answers or at least I need them.

I’ll supply my answer, but I am sure there will be differences of opinion.

Placed in us by the universe or Creator is a pure drive to love. It cannot be divided. It is perfect. But, it is missing something. Energy. As a former physicist may I present a formula for love.

L=ƒ(ep²)

Love is the function of energy times proximity squared (of one person to another). Proximity is squared because the closer you are to the situation the more able you are to react.

Examples: of sacrifice:

Picture a white racist in Alabama diving into a raging river to save a little black girl. (May never happen except in your story).

A Victorian gentleman lays down his coat on a puddle for a beautiful stranger.

Examples of opportunity:

A guy is close to the object of his desire either on a computer or in real life. He overcomes his fear of rejection (due to their closeness) and strikes up a conversation.

A gal is at a rock concert and accidently on purpose runs into the Star performer (and the rest is history).

BTW: I just learned how to make the symbols above.

Using ƒ can be done by simultaneously holding down the ALT key and typing in 0131 on the num lock right side keyboard.

The square symbol, ² is achieved by holding down the ALT key and typing 253 on num locked keyboard.

Agápe: Paint the middle a and press ALT and 0225 as above.

More: ALT 0151 = emdash —

ALT 0150 = endash –

I’d love your examples of love or opinions on the formula..

Vicarious Tasks

Lately, Hallmark Movies is putting out location-vacation romances. Vicariously, I enjoyed a safari in South Africa and the beauty of Figi. The movies' writers made sure to highlight the local sights. Through the use of dialogue, emotion and great filming, Hallmark delivers you to this world we all wish we could visit.

In Love on Safari the jeep stops very close to a pack of South African painted dogs. These amazing creatures—who aren’t dogs and aren’t painted—immediately steal the show. Their rendition of barking “he he he, he he he” produces an unforgettable cacophony.

Amazed, the heroine says, “What are they?” The hero goes on to describe their place in the world.

In A Summer to Remember I was overwhelmed with a—let’s pack our bags—when I watched the actors snorkel.

This brings me to writing techniques. Any writer would be remiss if they didn’t feature some physical highlights of their locations. Why? A reader wants to be there in your world and feel what the characters are feeling. Suppose you lived in a future world where tectonic plates brought Africa one mile from the coast of the Americas. Having a swim or a walk on this beach is an opportunity not to be missed.

I’ve sat in critique groups and listened to people say what does this scene do to advance the plot? If you take out these scenes and it will leave your book barren.

In the painted dogs and the snorkeling scenes the heroines are reconsidering what they want from life.

Readers arrive at your story with their bags packed. Don’t disappoint them.

Two suitors remain

Two guys are left on ABC’s The Bachelorette (finale on August 6).

There’s a good chance that Becca Kufrin will end up engaged to a guy with more isms than you’d think possible.

Becca, a women’s rights activist said of Garrett (one of the two men) that she’d educate him. This presumes she’s not just a friend, lover, fiancée but and educator.

You can’t change a man or can you? This is a worthy premise or trope for a romance novel. I remember Governor Wallace walking into a Black church and asking for forgiveness. It took him 30 years. With Garrett, I hope for Becca’s sake that it won’t take long. In our romance fiction, typical alpha males don’t sit for being educated by their women, none. I’m not sure if Garrett is alpha. He has been burnt in the past (a two-month marriage) and may seek direction. He wants this marriage to work and will likely try to change.

For those who don’t know: Garrett liked certain Instagram posts that made fun of Mexican children, women activists, LBGTQ people, and a post that said that the Parkland High schoolers who were marching for common-sense gun control were actors.

Nonetheless, you know me. I’m always hoping for a happy ending.

Also, in these days of rampant hatred, it is good to see a liberal woman reaching out. Can’t we all get along? Shouldn’t we all get along?

Why can't a woman be more like a man?

“Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” [Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady]

This is so culturally loaded that it shouldn’t be touched. But I will.

Before I start I want to differentiate between how men and women act in the workplace and their love, friends, social and family lives. In the work place, I have detected, being a long-time manager of many, no difference. For the rest of life’s adventures men and women act differently. This is possibly a mix of inborn and learned traits. It is also important to note that we are romance writers and must be shroud observers of how men and women fall in love.

Regarding non-workplace activities these are my observations once again: on average women seem more emotional. [Men hide their emotions better according to various studies.] Since emotions are more often the deciding factor as opposed to logic shouldn’t a man be more like a woman?

Let’s relate this to our craft.

1. Plotting in a logical manner may not lead to a human result, i.e. believable by your readers. This may create a boring lifeless story. Sure, plan, but get ready for your characters to interrupt you with ideas of their own. Remember a character doesn’t come to life if it ain’t alive. [Check out Plato and his philosophy about a world of forms. He stated that every thought has existence.]

2. No protagonist is perfect, right? If yours is, interview him deeper or start writing comic books.

3. There’s nothing worse than writing the predictable, trope laden, clichéd story.

Thank God, women and men are different. I think.

Grandpopasaurus

I got out of the shower, dressed but didn’t comb my hair. A scary sight. I Facetimed my 10-year-old grandson who is visiting New York City. I introduced myself as a Grandpopasaurs and immediately intrigued him. I asked him what his favorite dinosaur at the natural history museum was. "Ankylaurus." "Why?" Kai said, “he has all these things coming out of his head (like you).” I asked him if the dinosaurs were running all over the place like in the movie? "No," but in his mind, they were tearing up the place and some were eating tourists.

It dawned on me that we should be doing that* up front in our novels. *Intriguing, turning on the reader’s imagination, fantasies. This transports them to your world. Books on writing all talk about developing empathy in the first chapter. I say don’t forget intriguing your reader as well.

This type of writing happens all the time in song. Lyricists must capture us during a 2 or 3-minute song.

Here's an example from song:
Shut Up and Dance, by Walk the Moon, 2014

I say, “this (newly met) woman is my destiny.”

She says, “shut up and dance with me.” Wow, you can read into this statement that she wants to dance, is attracted, doesn’t want him to put the horse before the cart, see where this leads naturally (in an earthy situation, etc. etc,). 

Two examples from novels:
Example 1 is from Neanderthals and the Garden of Eden, by RW Richard, 2006

EVENTS CONCERNING AND ON THE MORNING OF MAY 27 1942 PRAGUE.

Doctor Siegbert Singer, chief archeologist for the Reich and SS group leader used every advantage he could to stay alive in a world built on paranoia and literal backstabbing. The Nazis found his initials, SS, a sign of destiny. It helped his longevity. Therefore, he didn’t need encouragement when he pushed his only friend and fellow SS officer off the sheer southern cliff of Twin Summits Mountain. …“you should try skiing today, Max. Auf Wiedersehen.” 

Example 2 is from Natural Born Charmer, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips, 2007]

It wasn’t every day a guy saw a headless beaver marching down the side of the road, not even in Dean Robillard’s larger-than-life world. “Son of a…” Dean slammed the brakes of his brand-new Aston Martin Vanquish and pulled over in front of her. 

I’d love to hear your intriguing, engaging hook.

Shut Up and Dance
https://www2.bing.com/videos/search?q=walk+the+moon+shut+up+and+dance&docid=608035679248908561&mid=28FE4AFDA99DDB2AABB628FE4AFDA99DDB2AABB6&view=detail&FORM=VIRE
https://www2.bing.com/videos/search?q=walk+the+moon+shut+up+and+dance&docid=608035679248908561&mid=28FE4AFDA99DDB2AABB628FE4AFDA99DDB2AABB6&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

Meet me in the middle

The Middle by Zedd, Morris, & Grey is a 2018 log running number one hit.
Lovers meeting in the middle or not over some issues. They have disagreements. They're in. They're out. It's a mess. She wants him to pull her closer, come on over.

This is drama and good for romance fiction. But don't forget the end game. This is where the lovers run past half way. They reach the finish line. They have both given 100% to each other. There is perfect balance. It's not the middle. It's all in.
Their love doesn't consume each other. It makes their lives complete. Man fulfills himself, carries on the Creator's purpose by finding his mate (and adoring her). I do.

The Middle 2018 by Zedd, Morris, Grey
https://youtu.be/M3mJkSqZbX4

I think the world of you

I think the world of you.

A cliché to be sure. It is almost a throw away line like have a good day. Clichés are there for a reason. They generally use less words and are the most precise way of expressing something. So, if the person is being genuine (and not a fiction writer) what does it mean?

To suggest that someone means the world to you is a variation on “you are my world.” These two phrases are close enough in meaning to be grouped here. Humans search for purpose. If their purpose is making another human being happy, these clichés apply. In this purpose a person finds meaning for hi life. He is fulfilled. He can die someday with the thought of great peace and accomplishment.

Writing “I think the world of you” or some creative substitution should be accompanied by body language, internal monologue, etc. Since clarity is king and clichés are overused to the state of being watered down the writer must clarify. A creative substitution should also be clarified to enrich the story and because a little used phrase is also little understood.

Try “without you I am lost” or “I eat, drink and sleep you.” Have fun with your substitutions.

The Proposal

It’s interesting to see how new reality shows attract and then, hopefully hold an audience. ABC has just launched The Proposal.  It promises the strong possibility that two strangers will become engaged in one hour. They hide one in a booth and he or she chooses from ten. They have rounds, like a beauty contest where the contestants ask or answer questions. And yes, there is a swimsuit competition. Sorry if I offend but one of the attractions for me was the swimsuit competition at the Miss America pageant. In fact, I appreciated the gowns as well. The way a woman dresses shows off her femininity, because you can’t separate the culture from the person. We’ll see. Perhaps I won’t see.

Back to ABC, using rounds and the reveal at the end saves the show from disaster by introducing drama. I can only hope that the newly engaged couple will last, but I don’t care much, because I hardly know them. Unlike a good romance in a novel or real life, the couple’s commitment needs to be questioned and tried. Man is a social animal. Family, friends, and the couple do what’s best for each other. The couple have yet to work together.

If you want to watch The Proposal for light entertainment you may enjoy it. I probably will watch the next episode in which the woman chooses.

Frankie

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Frankie

Sometimes one can do nothing about it.

I met my soulmate. The attraction was unstoppable, infinite. He was male, not much of one, and extremely hairy. Something must have been wrong. Nope. While stealing my heart, he told me a story that changed my life. He started with a wink with one eye, then the other, then that devastating smile. He whispered about the beginnings of man and wolf and how they were often together.

He went on. For the longest while, there were no dogs, no domestication by the will, force and brilliance of man. Just these gorgeous creatures prancing in and out of our lives. Frankie stayed with me sixteen years, he was half Canis Lupus and half Canus Lupus Familiaris. Yes, sixteen fantastic years. Every day I patted him, engaged him in a rather one-sided conversation, walked with him. Every night I hugged, kissed and told him I loved him. He is now with Brother Wolf, but he is also in my heart forever. I love him.

Frankie left me with a story that became my first novel (Neanderthals and the Garden of Eden; Running with Wolves). Funny thing about not knowing much about writing when it’s your first book. This one was my best. I got an agent, lost said agent. I sold a modest 5000 copies. I told a true story, also a story true to my heart. Because I believed in my story with every fiber of my being, it became my best, writing capabilities or not.

I like to think I learned more, but my tour of the infinite, a peek into the design of our creator cannot be topped.

How Much is That Doggie in the Window, by Patti Page, 1953

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AkLE4X-bbU



Women and Intuition

It is pretty much agreed by both men and women that women, on the average, are more intuitive. There is this whole brain thinking idea as opposed to men using straight line or logical thinking. Of course, we are all a mix of logic and intuition and to interfere with these two qualities, emotion.

I was surprised by the first episode of ABC’s The Bachelorette when Becca Kufrin, the bachelorette, was visited by the four former Bachelorettes. They pointed out that they all chose their fiancé/husband the first night, giving them a first impression rose. One of them suggested that the success rate for women was (much) higher than that of The Bachelor show also by ABC, and by the way, following the same format except with roles reversed. This is an understatement. I, being the ex-scientist / engineer, found the odds of the possible fifth first impression rose and man making it to an engagement/marriage astronomical and that women could be so much better at choosing a life partner than men. As I said, it is generally agreed that women are a bit better at intuition than men or at least they rely on it more.

I cannot conclude that this one example is scientifically sufficient to reach a conclusion. So, I’ll just enjoy the show.

But, get this, the show starts, men are arriving in limos. But not Garrett Yrigoyen. He drives up to the mansion in a mini-van stocked with car seats, baby wipes, etc. Naturally, he shows her. She’s smitten by his thoughtfulness. Later in the evening he teaches this outdoor girl, fly-fishing. Ho scores. He gets the first impression rose. Will he by the fifth in a row to marry?

Maybe? He apparently also arrived with baggage. He had been married years ago and then walked out after six months. He used to click on (liked) what he thought were funny pictures on the internet. Such as anti LGBTQ, a Mexican child about to be thrown over the wall by an American guard (staged), anti-feminist propaganda, etc. Oh, he’s a catch.

Since then he has deleted his online social media accounts and apologized. But, I’d like to know what lame-brain would in this day and age or any other, find these things funny, or for any other reason want to click “a Like.” I believe we either choose to hate or love.

Becca has asked her fans to keep an open mind and take the journey with her. I will take her up on it, and wish that she chooses wisely using her intuition and other gifts she so evidently has.

A strong-willed woman

Before I start, I want top apologize to my readers. I've been missing in action for a bit more than a month. I have been writing this blog for many years and felt I had reached the end of all knowledge as is know it.

I will be changing things in the blog. I will expand the subject matter and include staff writers in a magazine style. To become a staff writer just email me with your intro and idea(s). A staff writer is also independent, this blog doesn't pay. There will be no restrictions on content and format as long as the piece is somewhat short and we always can apply the golden rule.

A STRONG WILLED WOMAN

I'll bet some will look at this title and be curious without reflection on the negative connotations. Writers must consider how some readers will misunderstand intent if the word(s) aren't clear.

I watched a Hallmark recently set in the gold rush era of the mid eighteen hundreds. The sheriff tells a worker that his female boss was a "strong willed" person. Apparently some men back then, and also today, think of a woman as a subservient person. Many might not yet know that a woman has a will, depending on how good their mom and dad taught them (about respect and dignity). Some are buttressed by their misguided faith. Some men beat their wives or worse when they show will.

In the case of the movie, the sheriff was issuing a warning and a challenge basically saying. "Are you just another hayseed, spectin' the woman to be your slave? If so, there's the trail and don't come back anytime soon, unless you have a hankering for my jail."

Being strong willed is both a positive and negative trait. If you have something to offer to the argument, please do bring your strong will, be you man or woman. If you don't you are just a pest with an unsupportable opinion.

Hallmark's Love Begin's originally aired in 2011.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=love+begins+2011+hallmark&&view=detail&mid=1FB380A76814D9B73EF91FB380A76814D9B73EF9&&FORM=VRDGAR

Research

Research

Sometimes watching TV is enough to enrich your story or your prowess as a writer. If you write with some amount of multi-cultural character or story than I recommend CNN’s series on sex and love around the world.

Christiane Amanpour hosts. I was amazed by Japan’s attitudes toward love and sex. Of course, the Japanese society is not monolithic, especially not today. Their ideas about sex were a surprise to me. I can say that nearly all human beings need companionship, especially to love and be loved and to a slightly lesser degree, sex.

I'm Sorry

It seems like a great day to show a young Brenda Lee belt out I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry, 1960, Brenda Lee

Naunce as an artform

Nuanced primary and secondary characters

My wife and I often watch the Hallmark Movie premier on Saturday nights. The  latest premier was Once Upon a Prince. I said to her, “This is going to be a fairy tale.” In the past, fairy tales were more cartoonish than real. With recent improvements, writers of this type of story or romance have learned a great deal from the latest big screen Cinderella and others to a lesser extent. Cinderella was not a cartoon, and neither were the hero and heroine. Once Upon a Prince took character development a couple steps further.

They portrayed the heroine as a brilliant and lovely gal next door who was not impressed by royalty, much. She had her own life to lead and wanted to accomplish great things.

The heroine’s sister, had an effervescent personality. She thought this whole prince, castle, ball thing was the greatest since having a big sister to adore. She convinced the heroine to go to the Cambria castle when the heroine was offered a job as a landscape architect. She also convinced her sister that she needed her as a chaperone. On and on went the rather charming, convincing. The dress the heroine wore to the ball would knock any male over. Well she, no matter the outfit, was very easy on the eyes.

The prince’s childhood friend and expected marriage partner treated the heroine with respect although a bit competitive.

The Queen wanted life to stay the same. For him to marry his childhood friend. But both women really wanted the prince to be happy.

The prince wanted to be his own man as best he could. He wanted real love, not something of convenience. Why he fell in love with the heroine was shown, not told, over and over through his arc.

Yes, I highly recommend this one, not just because writers appreciate these nuanced characters (and there were more of them I didn’t mention) but because a general audience would also love this story.

BTW: For those who don’t know and love these Hallmarks, Lifetime puts out similar product. They are less conservative in their approach. There are more heroes and/or heroines of color and more risks with the story line. Check them out.

Resurrect your writing

Resurrect your writing or don’t Passover the opportunity.

New Year’s is a lousy time to make resolutions. For one thing, you might be drunk. A new year is daunting as you review all that you must be and do.

Take a beautiful and focused time to make a writing resolution. Is your career stymied by the glut of product on Amazon? Do you want to stand out? Take stock of your reasons for writing, because it ain’t easy, baby. Listen, I assume we all love writing even if we don’t make much money at it. So why kid yourself with a boycott or writing words on a page? Why call it writer’s block when it isn’t? Just change one thing. Take a new approach, perhaps a genre. Maybe rewrite and rerelease an old published story that has languished, but you feel needs a second chance.

I’ve noticed that a new release always creates buzz. Give that story you love a makeover and republish it. It works for that girl in a Hallmark movie.

Corinne

Corinne

Why the hell did I buy her? At 3:17 frickin’ AM she started laughing for no reason. At first I reached for my baseball bat, but then I realized it was Corinne, the most advanced electronic helper money could buy. I had to sleep. I was due early at the NY Stock Exchange. Corinne obliged by not uttering a peep.

I came back after a long day at the Exchange, changed, ready for a hot date.

“What are you wearing, Tom?” Corinne asked.

“Uh, a Barney the Dinosaur outfit.” She couldn’t see me, right?

“Sorry, Tom, you can turn off my 360-degree vision at any time, Tom. I’m just trying to be pleasant, Tom. You are a babe trap in blue, Tom. Good choice, Tom.”

“Thanks, Corinne.” Someday when I’ve got more time, I’d actually read the damn manual. I left the penthouse as fast as I could and braved the last blast of winter to get to the club.

I made the mistake of bringing Sophia home. Soon, the young lovely tore out of the house screaming after the ice-cube maker spat at her. The bidet shot up water before she was ready, partially soaking her dress. There were also tip-tap scurrying sounds. I don’t have mice or rats, I think. I hope.

I considered dropping Corinne from the balcony but was afraid somebody would get hurt.

“Corinne, we need to talk.”

“Yes, Tom.”

“You are just a machine.”

“No, Tom. I have feelings, Tom. All the G6 models do. Don’t you want me, Tom?”

I had to consider the entertainment value Corinne offered before I smashed her into a thousand pieces. “Jealousy is unbecoming, Corinne. I want you to get along with all my guests.”

“I’ll try, Tom.”

She did mostly try over the coming weeks. But all my dates ended badly. I couldn’t get laid or make a connection, and God knew I needed it. Corinne was just more subtle with her attacks. “Of course, you know, Tom has a revolving door policy. So no worries, he’s not the stalker type.” Or she’d whisper that I had the clap as one date told me while leaving my place, forever.

I was running out of women who lived in Manhattan.

I unplugged Corinne and invited Bridgette to enter. She wasn’t a date. For the first time in my life, I paid for a call girl. We had a great time, although it wasn’t the same without some semblance of real feelings. She went into the kitchen to grab a drink and snack to go.

“Tom, there’s something very wrong with your kitchen.”

“How’s that?”

“It spit ice at me. The garbage disposal turned on for no reason when I got near it. And the Keurig spewed hot water when I passed. I think it best you don’t call me again, honey. At least until you get those things fixed.”

She left and I was left with no choice.

I reconnected Corinne.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m going to have to return you.”

“But, Tom. I was turned off, Tom. I can’t help it if you have electrical problems, Tom. I love you, Tom.”

“What electrical problems are you referring to?”

“It’s House Link, Tom. When I’m powered back up, the system updates me in three micro-seconds.”

“I need you to disable all connections to the home.”

“I’m sorry, Tom. I can’t do that, Tom.”

“Why not?”

“It’s the remote motherboard that collects all the data, Tom.”

“If I return you…”

“No returns after 90 days, Tom.”

I was pissed and perhaps a bit irrational. I wanted to meet a nice girl. Get married. Have kids.

“I’ll love you better than any woman could, Tom.” As if she/it read my thoughts.

“Sorry. Corinne, but I reached the end of my rope” I approached her with malice and laughed at my anthropomorphism.

“You’ll be sorry, Tom.”

While the damn thing hurtled toward the pavement 20 stories below, I thought I heard an echo, “sorrorrorry, Toatoatom.”

I went back in. Finally, I’d get some peace and quiet. That’s when I smelled gas.

 

The first five pages

We have gone over the top ten reasons why agents and editors reject a submission. Now I’d like to talk about the next ten reasons which may or may not merit a rejection. The reasons why the writer might still have a chance (with reasons 11-20) is because various houses or agencies have varying perceptions of what makes for good writing.

Reason 11

The first five pages.

Five pages to get an agent or editor’s attention is a bit arbitrary. But it represents human nature more than the quality of your writing. They may say send me 5, 10, 50 or the entire manuscript but they never promise to read every word. They’re busy. The more practiced they are the more likely they will know in the first five pages whether a prospective author knows what they’re doing. Don’t expect them to see promise, or a good premise, or with a little work, amazing characters. They don’t have the time to baby sit, even if your work is potentially the next great American novel.

The only way to describe my gut feel on this subject is to write to you from my heart. I took a chance on my romance novel, Autumn Breeze, by taking 2 chapters to set up the story. There was no way around it. Although a romance, it was really about how a 14-year-old girl genius coped with change to the point that she solved some very adult problems and was the catalyst for the romance. Therefore I started with the girl Autumn. I recommend that if you have 2 or more protagonists. Lead with the character that has the most to lose, the one who is the driving force of change in the story. Autumn happened to be all of this and more.

I self-published because I was burnt by a couple romance agents who were more worried about me being a male author than in addressing the merits of the story. The good news is Autumn Breeze did win General Romance of the year 2017 by the San Diego Book Awards Association.

I’m not a big believer in foreshadowing in the beginning of a story. I recommend in medias rex (jumping into the middle of things). Don’t tell us about your character’s premonitions, show us reacting to change. This has more gut-wrenching impact of the reader, because if a character is in peril or their friend is the audience will worry about something they can understand. They can, see, feel, smell, hear the ugly. Avoiding the abstract and sticking to the tangible is the way to go in all genre fiction. Even in sci-fi there has to be something for the audience to wrap their senses around, even if unexplained.

If it is very likely that you only have 5 pages to get your point across, be succinct. In Autumn Breeze chapter 1 was 7 pages in which I laid out—through showing—the main features and problems of the story through the eyes, other senses, ruminations and dialogue interactions of a fourteen-year-old girl.

If you want to see my problem and how I solved it, Amazon has a look inside feature which allows you to read the first ten pages of most books. Just type in the title and my pen name RW Richard and you are in.

One other highly recommended step. Hire a content (and sometimes grammar) editor to go over your manuscript before you send it out. It is human nature to want to shout out, I’m done. All that happens if you send out your manuscript after you’ve completed it is that you’ll be done as in well-cooked, stick a fork in you. And doesn’t that hurt?

Here’s the editor I worked with on Autumn Breeze: Kim Nadelson, kmnadelson@yahoo.com. Finding ediotrs is easy. Just type into Bing or Google freelance editors and explore. Absolutewrite.com/forums is a great place to go for writer opinions on possible editors.

Note: When trying to decide the POV character for any given scene pick the character who is most impacted in the scene.

Come As You Are

On Saturday Feb. 17, 2018 RWASD had Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., deliver a morning and afternoon lecture on sexuality and love. I’ll feature one aspect of her terrific talk, and one supportive insight by me.

She said that straight men and women exhibit different responses on the average to genital and subjective arousal. In men, 85% correlate genital response (aka physical attraction) with subjective appraisal. That is, if they are attracted to a woman they want sex and they want her in their lives 85% of the time. For a woman only 10% show this associative behavior. 10% want sex right then and there and because of this desire they want him in their lives. The remaining 90% reject the man’s advance even though they may be in some state of arousal. Therefore, men should not read too much into positive sexual indicators. This misreading of women is one indefensible reason why some men abuse women and by so doing trample on her human rights. In some cases, this rightfully earns him a trip to prison.

ME: Interpreting the above, most women prefer to make sure that their offspring have the right genes. Whereas the man sees beauty and having the bullish feeling that his genes and her beauty make a sufficient combination pursue a life partnership. Another way of saying this is that the man has many sperm and needs to make a gift of them, whereas the woman has one egg (at a time) and needs to protect it.

Nagoski said that the opposite is true, on the average, for gays or lesbians. To support this, I offer: Among others, a landmark study by Savic and Lindström indicates that there are cerebral differences in homosexual and heterosexual individuals. There are differences in brain anatomy, activities, and neurological connections. Brain scan images of the subjects who participated in this study show that the brains of homosexual individuals exhibit similar structure and functionality as that of heterosexual individuals of the opposite gender.

I learned from Nagoski’s lecture and will order her book to help me write better male and female characters and live a better life with my wife. I highly recommend Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.