See this movie.
I saw Iraq as a mistake that spawn vast armies of terrorists, but I also felt Afghanistan was necessary. We in our hearts have differing but earnest beliefs. The film isn't so much about war as it is about love and what love makes us do. You are not a man if you don't stand for and do something you believe in and in this way give back the talents God gave you. We were not made to just propagate, we are also here to make a better world for our mates and children. Struggle to find this ever-shifting balance in your hero and heroine.
Instead of showing the film's promo, I present a video clip of one of Taya Kyle's interviews which will help a romance writer get a feel for the relationship she had (has) (she's a widow), but seeing the film will complete your study of what makes a hero.