The
Five Love Languages
Here
follows a short summary of Doctor Gary Chapman’s book which is also free as in
audio for thirty days. I start with my commentary.
As
writers we need every reference we can get to understand better our characters.
This holds especially true for the male POV, the basic subject of this blog.
Dr. Chapman published his book, The Five
Love languages in 1995 but the way men and women love each other never
changes. As a reference I recommend the movie, Alpha, about life 20,000 years ago.
Chapman.
The five (emotional) love languages are:
1.
Words of affirmation. If this is your love language, you feel most cared for
when your partner is open and expressive in telling you how wonderful they
think you are, how much they appreciate you, etc.
2.
Acts of service. Ex.: If your partner offering to watch the kids so you can go
to the gym (or relieving you of some other task) gets your heart going then
this is your love language.
3.
Affection. This love language is just as it sounds. A warm hug, a kiss, touch,
and sexual intimacy make you feel most loved when this is your primary love
language.
4.
Quality time. This love language is about being together, fully present and
engaged in the activity at hand, no matter how trivial.
5.
Gifts. Your partner taking the time to give you a gift can make you feel
appreciated.
Here’s
his point. People speak different love languages. Couples might not understand
each other until they discover and learn the other’s primary language and then
speak their partner’s language.
To
understand this better and more completely Google or Bing a summary of his
work.
Regarding the male POV: it's a good bet that physical intimacy is a guy's primary love language.
Hmm, good food for thought here Bob. I write a lot of male perspective, and I never thought of their love language this way. Thanks.
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