3. Timelessness

Relationships: Originally posted Jan 05, 2016 by Randi Gunther Ph.D. from her blog at https://randigunther.blogspot.com.

Today we are studying number three of nine. (1. Surprise// 2. Intrigue// 3. Timelessness// 4.Quickened// 5. Fear// 6. Certainty// 7. Authenticity// 8. Synergy// 9. Home.


3. Timelessness

Most people are acutely aware and too reliant upon how they are controlled by time. What happened in the past, what is happening now, and what might happen in the future are often omni-present concerns in most people’s minds. Past mistakes and future concerns dominate most people’s search for an intimate partner and they know that correct timing is essential. They plan how to approach a potential partner, when to make a move, and how and when to navigate the next step. They know that too fast an approach can push a person away, but so can too much passivity.

My couples who found true love tell me that one of the first things they noticed when they met each other was that time and timing just didn’t come into play. They truly remember that time did stand still.

“I’d usually moved pretty fast in the past. I didn’t want to waste time with a woman who wasn’t exciting to look at, or quickly held my attention. I guess you would have described me as urgent about not making any more mistakes and being able to get out of a relationship soon if it didn’t work out right away. I’ll never forget the afternoon I met Jeannie. She was having coffee with some friends at Starbucks. I just kept looking at her until she started laughing and asked me if I was on drugs. We started talking and my old patterns just didn’t kick in. My need to rapidly access the potential just disappeared. As dumb as that sounds, it felt as if time stood still, like I didn’t want what I was feeling to end. I think I would have waited forever for her to be in my life.”

Comments by Bob: When the stars align, or when your heart patters like never before, you stand on the precipice of discovering your very own person. Everything feels perfect, especially the timing. After the relationship takes off you might reflect that it didn't seem to matter when, where, or how you met your partner. You could have had a cute meet or a real disaster. Something within us all lights as path.
Guy #3: "When I saw her I had to break out of my introverted self and say something. I noticed that she was going crazy in a zany way around me. Why me? And what was it that she felt? I didn't care. It just worked and still works. Somehow no matter what I said she was in sync. Neither I or she could make a mistake. It felt like she and I shared two brains [and one heart].