Shirley Goldberg is here today

I was intrigued when I read one of my favorite author's blog and asked Shirley if I she'd like to post her thoughts on a romance subject very important today. I felt her blog post would inspire romance writers to consider Covid romances as well as distance dating:

Get closer through distance dating

Bees do it. My friends do it.

Distance Dating is a Thing, but Don’t Forget to Crank up Your Profile

 

My character in my novel Middle Ageish dates a lot. Easy because her story is romantic women’s fiction where there’s no Covid. At least not in my fiction world.

It’s a little more difficult in the real world where some enterprising souls haven’t given up. I know because several of my friends are distance dating––and being nosy––I’ve interviewed them.

One friend met her honey right before the pandemic started spreading and they isolated together. All is well. They just bought a house.  

Another friend relies on Zoom to get things moving. After a few Zoom sessions, he invites dates on picnics and walks, although this is much more difficult now with the cold weather. He’s considering taking up racquetball and inviting dates to his gym. Masks would be required.

If you talked or “met” on a dating site before Covid, but didn’t get together, now could be the time. In spite of the pandemic, dating––at a distance––is a thing.

Here’s an idea for distance dating. Wine tasting outdoors in a public park. Be discrete. Decant. If alcoholic beverages aren't allowed, or you're uncomfortable, switch to a variety of juices. The thing about wine tasting is there are those little crackers (found in any wine store)  and you get to banter.

Plus it takes time to do all that testing. Oh, here's a helpful hint. Wine tasting doesn't have to be elaborate. You can go with a single bottle of your favorite zinfandel and it still counts. "Wine tasting" is the secret password to "Let's get together safely.”

Of course, if the wind chill is a factor, you might have to limit yourselves to a meet in the parking lot and waving to each other from your cars.

And toasting with juice. At least you’re getting out. Keep that distance and enjoy.

Even if you limit your dates to Zoom, you still need to get folks to notice you on the dating site. Keep in mind, if your profile reads like spinach, bland and boring, you won’t get any takers, even for a Zoom meet.

Add a little metaphorical balsamic vinegar, oil and Dijon mustard to the recipe. Your dating profile and your photo are meant to make lookers stop trolling and read.

How? Talk about your quirks. Yes, your quirks. Tell a story, even if it's a few lines. Let your real self out. Be specific. Keep it light. 

Write as if you're talking to a friend. 

What are one or two of your small pleasures in life?  Love sci-fi romances? Do you get a kick out of collecting crazy masks? Order pizza with mashed potato topping? Love texting and talking while watching a movie? That's another idea for a distance date, by the way. 

Gentlemen, here's the place to talk about test-driving that Mustang and keeping it overnight. (Don't say how you wangled that one. Not yet.)

Also, update your profile and your photo from time to time. Call it a work-in-progress. Talk about how you’re coping in these difficult times. A couple positive comments is all you need if you keep it light.

And avoid these negative profile bloopers:

•    Adjective-overload: Honest, Hardworking, Affectionate, Humorous, Attractive, Fun-loving.

•    Trying to be sexy: “I love high heels.”

•    Being stuck in the past: “They don’t make ‘em (movies, cars, furnaces) like they used to.”

•    Trying to warm her up with: “I love to cuddle in front of the fireplace.”

•    Using this old cliche: “I love my life. But it would be better with the right man.”

•    Refusing to put in the work: “Write a profile? It’s hard to talk about myself.”

•    Being overly demanding: “You must be tall, financially stable, and have your own hair.”

•    Going on and on about your kids or your grandkids. Save that for Facebook. Or a real date.

•    Posting an unclear, unflattering photo. Make sure it’s your best shot.

You’ve got a dating profile for one reason only. So people will contact you. Check out 10 Original Dating Ideas During Covid for a few more meet-cutes. 

About Middle Ageish

Sunny Chanel's marriage is circling the drain when her husband marks his colonoscopy on the calendar and ignores their anniversary. With divorce papers instead of roses on the horizon, she says "au revoir" Paris and croissants, and "hello" cheap New Haven apartment and ramen noodles.   

Encouraged by her friends, Sunny jumps into online dating, twenty-three years and twenty pounds after her last date. To her surprise she discovers dating might require a helmet, and occasionally armor to protect her heart, but after years of being ignored, her adventurous side craves fun and conversation. She's middle-aged not dead. Then suddenly, on the way to reinventing herself, life takes a left turn when the one man she can't forget calls with an unexpected request.

Excerpt from Middle Ageish

I hadn’t seen Noah since our kissy-face first meet. He’d taken on extra shifts, and I’d been busy packing and meeting guys whose names I didn’t remember. I checked my email. A text blew in from Noah.

––To: Sunny

From: Noah

Subject: Kiss my face

Dear Sunny,

I’m a programmer and an analyst and I figure our date was really three hundred dates in one (1) and so the next will be #301. Here are the stats:

Canalathon:               6.0 hrs.

Eating:                       2.5

Spot decisions:           0.3

Communication:        3.4

Navigation ie you:     2.5

Good night peck:       0.1, 0.1,  0.1,  0.1…                       

Final peck                  9.0

I had a very pleasant time on our date to see if we should date.

May I accompany you to the theater Friday night?

Yes, dear.

Our seats are side by side

Sweet sleeps

––Noah

 

To: Noah

From: Sunny

Mr. Noah: The theater? Such a delight. Thank you, yes.

 I logged off and sat looking at my half-eaten sandwich. Noah made me laugh. I was having fun for the first time in a very long time. There was an upside to getting closer to Noah, concentrating on Noah, letting it go wherever it would take me, whether it finished in a dead-end or a long-term relationship.

   The sandwich was tuna with mayo on rye bread. I took a bite. A tad dry because I didn’t have lettuce or sprouts in the house.

No sprouts in the house.    

The phrase tinkled in my head. Noah would like that.

Even though I’d known him a short time, I knew he’d like that.

About the Author

 Shirley Goldberg is a writer, novelist, and former ESL and French teacher who’s lived in Paris, Crete, and Casablanca. She writes about men and women of a certain age starting over. Her website http://midagedating.com offers a humorous look into dating in mid life, and her friends like to guess which stories are true.  Middle Ageish is her first book in the series Starting Over. Her character believes you should never leave home without your sense of humor and Shirley agrees.

WEBSITE: https://midagedating.com/

My Socials

https://www.facebook.com/midagedating

https://twitter.com/mylifeasadate

https://www.instagram.com/shirleygoldbergauthor/

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54758920-middle-ageish

Where to grab Middle Ageish

Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/y29ao9wq

APPLE   https://tinyurl.com/y37cbc5u

Nook/Barnes and Noble:  https://tinyurl.com/yyuwpq6o

Google: https://tinyurl.com/yypcdp7t

Kobo: https://tinyurl.com/y3ezzmhk