Signing your life away

I'm up in Brea, California at the Embassy Suites signing my novels from 2 to 4 pm. So I need to be short today.

Sometimes you can wreck a novel by throwing in too many obstacles, too many negatives. You can wear out your reader.

I was reminded of this axiom, while watching the second episode of Married at First Sight. The director heavy-handedly played up the struggles of the new couples, to the point that the previews of future episodes were entirely negative. The director missed the point. An audience for this show wants at least some happily-ever-afters. If only about failure, then the director is announcing to the world that the experts and/or the couples hadn't known what they were doing or weren't serious.

Fool me twice, because I'll continue to watch (for a while) in the vain hope a couple survives.

I typically add a video here. I managed to download it but cannot verify it.

A separate thought:
At the conference, a stunningly beautiful friend complained to me that guys complimented her to have their way with her.

News flash: Every hetero guy is guilty in varying degrees, because that's the way God made us. Now most of us resist the temptation due to societal pressures or being totally in love with someone else or it's such a subconscious need that we might hardly notice or he's so old he's forgotten (like me), but it is still part of our very base psychology.

Men want to populate the planet all by themselves, selfish bastards.
Women want the best man to give them the perfect child.

Don't blame me, have a talk with the Creator.

Love the One You're With, 1970, Stephen Stills:

 

 

Married at First Sight

I’m not promoting the TV show, Married at First Sight. I write to call attention to it as a goldmine of human emotions, thought and will. If anything, love at first sight, could be considered more ‘absurd’, because much of first sight is about physical attraction. Many potentially great couples might have turned and walked in the opposite direction because they were initially not attracted. But, my God, have you ever met someone, who may not have every charm you desire, but because you spent time together, you thought what a wonderful guy/gal?

When we write romance we go heavy on interior monologue and sometimes backstory. Interior monologue and backstory are huge on this show. I’ve already an idea for a novel, must file it away for now.

Ask yourself this question about people who are willing to marry unseen and unknown. Why? Maybe they’re the types of people who have huge hearts, want to dedicate themselves to one person, the right person, and they rely on a team of dedicated experts to find him or her. There’s so much food for thought here, let me know what your ideas are, if you watch or not.

Regarding the guy’s POV, well I had little idea these dudes would be so willing, knowing that guys are so focused on looks. Consider this, guys, what makes a good woman/partner for life?

Regarding will and dedication: In the movie, The Theory of Everything, Professor Hawkings' girlfriend decides, despite his Lou Gehrig's disease (for which there is no cure but death), to marry and take care of him, if she can convince him to let her.

Here's a promo for the show, Married at First Sight, 2 min:

 

Extra credit: The couples one year later (first season, 2014, Married at First Sight) 7 min:

 

Don't toss that first manuscript

Don’t throw away your first novel. Perhaps, what got you into writing was passion. You could do that. You have a great idea. Your heart and your words were in sync. You could write a story like hers, but only better. In later books, perhaps, you are forced for commercialism to follow the formulaic path. Nothing wrong with that. Certainly, if Aristotle were alive today, he’d be the first to tell you so.

Yet there is something so special about a first novel. You may have broken the rules. You may have told a story that needed to be told. Get an editor who will keep your voice and publish that puppy. I’ve read many first novels, and enjoyed them all very much.

I’ll offer two examples:

Linda Thomas-Sundstrom’s Café Heaven. This is definitely a piece of her heart and being different you can expect to be delighted.

My first, Neanderthals and the Garden of Eden was a story that had to be told. As a former scientist, I was appalled by the bad science out there in our fiction regarding our pre-history. I said, I can do that, I can tell a story true to the facts. It has done moderately well (approx. 5000 copies), but to me the satisfaction this one story keeps giving me cannot be measured.

Sometimes, your first song is the same way and sometimes it is so good, so different, it becomes a huge hit. Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass was a number one hit for many weeks. She follows with a catchy tune, similar, Lips are Movin, in that it captures her happy perky personality. So far it has climbed to number 4 on the charts. Will she ever recapture that number one spot. I hope so. Probably, but for me her first song will be fondly remembered as special. Go back to your favorite artists (or writers) and recall their first. The first time you heard their sweet sound or read their beautiful story.

The Four Seasons: Sherry

Carly Rae Jepsen’s first single: Call Me Maybe

Sonny and Cher: I Got You Babe

Hold that first novel close to your heart, because you got it and it got you, babe.

The Bachelor chooses

Tomorrow night is the finale of The Bachelor. Chris Soules, a farmer, has narrowed his search down to two women. When a busy farmer runs his business, driving a bit more to meet people becomes difficult. However, there are fourteen towns close to Chris’s Arlington Iowa, a one-hour drive for the farthest one. Chicago is 250 miles away and Chicago is where one of the two remaining contestants, Whitney, the fertility nurse, lives. She has not only told Chris she loves him but has said she is ready to give up her career to become a wife and mother. News flash, nurses are needed everywhere. The show has left unresolved how either of them feel about working moms. I like her a lot, although her voice took some getting used to. To me, it so obvious he had fallen for her early in the show, starting with moment she suggested crashing a wedding down a park hill.

The other contestant, Becca, a virgin, never in love, chiropractic assistant from San Diego, is younger and uncertain as to what she wants.

I know some of my readers aren’t fans of this show. I just write about what I like or what attracts me when, generally, it comes to the male POV. There’s always a point. I’m not recruiting for the show; I’m just pointing out some interesting ideas I had and wanted to share.

Ellen DeGeneres interviews Chris Soules:  

ODD FACTS:
For those who accrue odd facts about romantic themes: There is an ever growing range of dating sites, such as, farmersonly dot com or farmersdatingsites dot com.

Chris Soules has kissed more women on the show than any bachelor from past shows has. I guess farmers are earnest when they cultivate a good crop.

An interview with Renaissance Man

An interview with Renaissance Man:

RWR: Tell me about your experience in a bridal shop.

RM: I walk in. My married daughter is sitting next to a box of Kleenex. My other daughter is trying on bridal dresses. I announce myself saying, “You can call me Father of the Bride.”

RWR: Did you get bored or cry?

RM: No, the gowns were more or less beautiful and my daughter was beaming with love. I made a joke about the Kleenex saying guys don’t cry. That pretty much stopped any notion of crying for me.

RWR: How’d the showings go?

RM: I started generating opinions but knew if I couldn’t back them up, my daughter wouldn’t listen.

RWR: Elaborate.

RM: Okay, I don’t know if these are original thoughts:

1. No dress trick should take everybody’s eyes off the bride’s face (or the bride's persona/aura). (i.e. the dress and bride should be as one, which brings up point #2.

2. What style a bride chooses is mostly a reflection of how she feels about marriage and herself.

a. Many little girls dream of being swept off their feet by prince charming and they fulfill that fantasy by dressing in a ‘princess’ or foofy gown.

b. Some perceive the marriage as a practical arrangement (and yes they love their man most of the time). They’ll dress in something more simple and perhaps with color. This leads to:

c. The successful career girl wants to project her interdependence and assert her personality. After all, her fiancé fell in love with who she is. These dresses can range from simple or modern to Avant Guard.

d. Some girls are rebels and dress accordingly (outrageously?).

RWR: Did you manage to say all that to them?

RM: No, I hinted at it all by covering a couple main points because my daughter is so sharp, in the blink of her eye, she’ll fill it all in. In the end, it’s her choice and I told her no matter what she chose, it would be the right for her because she chose it.

RWR: Thank you for…

RM: One last thought. A day later, I told her to consider what she will choose as partially a reflection of how her man feels about her. I asked her how does he make you feel. Does he make you feel like a princess? A partner? A lover? A life partner? Or all of the above. Knowing how much she is head over heels for this man, I’d guess there’s a bit of the princess within her successful career woman. That’s why my money is figuratively and literally on a certain dress that is elegant with a touch of poofy and is exquisitely designed to complement the work of art who is my daughter.

RWR: Thank you. I know our romance writers write complicated alpha heroes, typically. Who’s to say we can’t have fun trying on atypical traits to portray a hero who our readers will not likely forget.

And then there's the girl who puts everybody else before her. 27 Dresses, trailer, 2008.