Henry VIII's love letter to Anne Boleyn

Disclaimer: Henry VIII's choice of murder to susposedly solve his problems was both misguided and immoral. I publish his words out of a love of words as they were written or spoken. As in all historical romances, a properly researched story both in tone and times goes a long way.

12/31/2012
IF EVER THERE WAS AN ALPHA MALE WITH A FATAL FLAW

A love letter from Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn (2^nd wife).

Mine own sweetheart, these shall be to advertise you of the great loneliness that I find here since your departing, for I ensure you methinketh the time longer since your departing now last than I was wont to do a whole fortnight: I think your kindness and my fervents of love causeth it, for otherwise I would not have thought it possible that for so little a while it should have grieved me, but now that I am coming toward you methinketh my pains been half released…. Wishing myself (specially an evening) in my sweetheart’s arms, whose pretty dukkys I trust shortly to kiss. Written with the hand of him that was, is, and shall be yours by his will.*

H.R.*
 

*I interpret this as a sign of the divine right of Kings in which Henry, in love, also suggests that their relationship is by his will. He signs Henry Rex to hammer the point (IMO). To say Henry was passionate is understatement, to say he became a homicidal maniac drunk on power is accurate.

Another unusual fact I discovered when researching for my young Robin and Marian story:  In 1510, Henry and 11 nobles sneaked into Catherine of Aragon’s chamber disguised as Robin Hood and his men. He also put on Robin Hood plays in the open air at Greenwich.

 

 

THE TWELVE DELAYS OF CHRISTMAS 2012

This one is truly a male's point of view.

THE TWELVE DELAYS OF CHRISTMAS was read by it's author, Orin Parker, before our weekly critique group.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS by Orin Parker, 2012

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me

My darling, go buy us a nice Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love said to me

Please pick up two sets of bulbs
And dear, don't forget the tree

On the third day of Christmas, my true love said to me

I’ll need three strings of lights
The two sets of bulbs
 . . . And, love, the tree

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love instructed me

Bring me four plastic angels
And the three strings of light
The two sets of bulbs
And, Husband, remember—buy the tree

On the fifth day of Christmas, she raised her voice at me

I’ll need five golden bows
Four plastic angels
Three strings of light
Two sets of bulbs
And . . . go get the tree

On the sixth day of Christmas, my wife glared at me

I need six sprigs of holly
Five golden bows
Four plastic angels
Three strings of lights
Two sets of bulbs
Maybe you don’t know where to find a tree?

On the seventh day of Christmas, wifey punched me

I’ll require seven garland wreaths
Six sprigs of holly
Five golden bows
Four plastic angels
Three strings of lights
Two sets of bulbs
And get off your butt and find a tree

On the eighth day of confusion, my true love turned off the tv

I want eight tinkling bells
Seven garland wreaths
You-who six sprigs of holly
Five golden bows
Four plastic angels
Three strings of light
Two sets of bulbs
Go buy, cut down or steal a tree

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love went berserk on me

Listen to me: get nine books of stamps
Eight tinkling bells
Seven garland wreaths
Six sprigs of holly
Five golden bows
Four plastic seals
Three strings of light
Two sets of bulbs
You can sleep in a thorn tree

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true-pain put me out and took my key

At the door she shouted: in ten minutes I want every thing on that list. See?
Oh ah maybe she wanted ah ten minutes??
Nine pounds of holly?
Eight plastic pumpkins
Six no seven laser pointers
Six golden mistletoes
Five tulip bulbs
Four Judy Garland ablums
Three airmail stamps
Two tinker bells
And get the cat out of the tree??

On the eleventh day of Christmas, trully mad she screamed: this is not our cat, ho---ney

But I also brought home eleven crates containing
Ten Judy Garlands, yey!?
Nine outdoor lights
Eight silver bowls
Seven sidewinder missiles
Six fresh baked bagels
Five large light bulbs
Four jack-o-lanterns
Three frosted donuts
Two pumpkin pies
And an artificial palm tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas, she let me watch tv

But cursed me with twelve strange words
Then she took back the eleven crates
Traveling ten extra miles
Scouring nine crowded stores
To find eight decorations
With only seven hours left
Before our six relatives arrived
In their five Chevrolets
Bringing four lousy fruitcakes
Three noisy kids
Arguing over two candy canes
But we ate partridge by the palm and tv

I’m glad she returned the sidewinders. Merry Christmas.

Slight abridging and edits by RW Richard

 

IT'S A WONDEFUL LIFE, 1946 . . . An Angel gets his wings . . .

 

 

Top ten qualities of a hero, Dec. 9, 2012

When in doubt, while writing a scene, showcase the kind of hero’s assets which attract the heroine. Be mindful of the story, characters’, and scene arcs.

1.       Moral integrity

2.       Faithfulness

3.       Dependability

4.       Kindness

5.       Sense of humor

6.       Intelligence (taking charge//always improving)

7.       Passion(ate) about things

8.       Listener

9.       Romancer (displaying desire)

10.   Sense of style

Besides a handsome face and good physique, this top ten list is useful in constructing a hero’s character. It’s hard to show in the course of a novel all of these traits, especially if you have a bad boy on your hands. But, this list represents what women look for most. When they read they want their fantasy man to have these qualities.

It’s the same for guys. I enjoy a heroine more if she has similar qualities.

The airport scene, Casablanca:

 

 

Now, strickly speaking, this isn't a romance or is it? Can love trump war? Michael Walsh wrote the sequel for Warner Brothers. As Time Goes By, published Aug. 1, 1999. I found this 'happy ending' and enjoyable read while in a cruise ship's library.

 

Heroes with flaws and flairs, Dec. 2, 2012

Negative/Positive

Your hero should have flaw(s), but shouldn’t he also have flair?

Suppose your hero is embarrassed to be seen naked*, even though he’s God’s gift to womankind. *Change to any quirk you like (fear of spiders, heights, claustrophobic, etc.).

These idiosyncrasies are memorable, as in; it will stay with your reader.

Besides your hero being great at what he does, take Linus in the movie Sabrina, shouldn’t he have another talent? Give him a passion for something and let him do it or experience it really well. Or let the heroine introduce him to it.

This harkens back to the Renaissance man I have talked about, but he could also have been a star football player or particularly sly at Baccarat. I recall James Bond and his affectations for and in depth understanding of the finer things. He dresses to the nines in the midst of battle and perhaps is a little in love with his suit and cuffs.