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Amazon links to my stories: Autumn Breeze, A More Perfect Union, Double Happiness, The Wolves of Sherwood Forest, Neanderthals and the Garden of Eden can be found down the right side of the blog.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

TEAR DROPS 2/26/2012

Why do I watch The Bachelor? A guy watching The Bachelor? What? Hey, somebody has to hand out the roses.
  1. It's the only place on TV to get real (and sometimes stressful) romantic dialogue.
  2. I'm a chess master and love the strategy and tactics of romance in a complicated setting. In real life, people often date more than one person until they make up their minds.
  3. I love happy endings, am very romantic, and love a woman's heart (and all the other parts as well). Although this show doesn't have a great track record, it does no worse than the general populace, which right now is turning away from marriage in great numbers.
  4. I like to observe men and women with nothing else to do all day and all night but discuss romance. Do you think that might help someone writing romance? It does me.
But that's not the main reason I called this meeting. (It's two for one day). Kacie cries her heart out, a little over five minutes into the 10 minute Youtube clip below. You can move the little ball forward to skip to it, or read her monologue below.

Kacie B., a 24-year-old administrative assistant from Clarksville, TN, was eliminated during the eighth episode's Rose Ceremony. She said,
   Why does this have to hurt so bad? I thought I knew what he was looking for, but I guess I was completely wrong. I had no clue this was coming and I'm so upset. Why?! It's not me. I thought it was me. I was stupid. Why am I not good enough? . . . Like I don't get it! This is why I don't love. This is why! . . . I loved him . . . and I don't know what to do now. How did this happen?! What the f-ck happened?! What the f-ck happened?!

Some guys are uncomfortable around tears. I'd like to share my reaction and a reason for placing tear empathy in the male POV toolbox.

My heart went out to her. I felt she unconditionally loved Ben, she felt wronged, I saw her mind in action as she attempted to cope with and understand a huge problem, I felt she was communicating with emotion. I heard her in all the beauty of the way God made women. Because of all this, I saw her way forward and if I were there I would know what to do and say to help if she wanted to share.

She'll soon repair her heart, realize Ben wasn't the ideal fit and move on.
In the meantime, some of you (and for a while me) may conclude that Ben is missing a card or two in his deck. But he didn't have the insight into Courtney's character (the other woman) that we did. I predict, he by now is completely over Courtney and moving on, once he was given enough information about her lack of character or her willingness to belittle others on TV.

For those who believe this show is scripted in whole or in part, think about the odds that no one has sold and/or published their story of being forced to speak lines in all these years.

To recap:
The Bachelor is a good place to go for dialogue inspiration.
Crying can bring understanding between a man and a woman. If ever there were a treasure house for, and reader bonding to, internal male POV, this is it.


  1. Interesting, but I've never watched the Bachelor. Maybe I should.

  2. Hi Ann,

    I've tried so many shows once, just to see how they're put together, their merits or defects and my subjective feelings. I worked with NBC for a while, so 'programming,' demographics, and screen technics have always interested me. I also just plain enjoy The Bachelor.

    Thanks for commenting,

  3. Watching these shows can definitely give insight into romance. I don't believe they're scripted, though I often think the network has influence over who gets chosen to move on. Maybe not The Bachelor (I haven't watched it either), but definitely other shows. Ben doesn't seem like that great a catch from the snippet, but I haven't really seen enough to tell. I really stopped watching shows like this because most of the women seemed shallow and catty to me, but I agree that Kacie's reaction appeared genuine. I always wonder what the guy thinks about everything after he watches the show. I wonder what Ben will think of it. If he'd seen what everyone else got to see, would his choices be different? I bet they would.

  4. Hi Angela and thanks once again for commenting,

    The Bachelor doesn't push people to make decisions but they do choose what clips to air. In the case of Courtney they picked her worse moments and there were a lot of them. The show avoids telling the bachelor, that somebody has a personality defect (in this case, Courtney treated the fellow contestants with cruelty, showing she doesn't live by the golden rule). They will inform the bachelor if they have proof that somebody has a boyfriend at home and is still in love with that person. This happened just weeks ago and the Ben asked the girl to leave the show.

    IMO, the women on the show have some strong backgrounds, attorneys, doctors, successful businesswomen, and some blue collar. Mixed in with that are some 'shallow or catty' ones like you say.

    I think Ben will soon realize what a fool he has been and do everything he can to change the outcome to a happily everafter. We'll see.

    Thanks again.