More critique group woes

Continuation of critic group woes

A newish writer said that all this back and forth about love (in my scene) and it’s parsings* was boring. *over the arc of the story I moved both POVs at different paces and different orders from:

A drastic mutual hate

Indifference,

Toleration

Wanting to escape

Attraction

A tiny bit of admiration

Possible friendship

Attraction

Denial

Confirmation

Lust

Like

Falling in love

Denial

Black moment

Acceptance, being fully in love

Verbalizing it (in the case of this new adult offering—sealed with a kiss).

Of course, there are many paths from start to finish. For instance, Hallmark usually has a misunderstanding to separate the hero and heroine. Written romance has many more paths. However, mine, apparently is boring and right before the black moment. But, I do remember that this newish writer does not read romances. Also, nobody remembers previous chapters or scenes that well, especially the farther you get from page 1. Still, I use every critique to make the manuscript better. I’m going to “fix” this scene today, but I wonder if it needs fixing. You can’t make everybody, every time, fall in love with your story. But I do want them all. I want the most hard boiled misanthrope to melt under my spell.

One thing I will do is reread Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips see how she handled the hero and heroine’s journey to love.

Rule 1 for critique groups. Every chapter or scene should be able to stand on its own without preamble (or apology). That is. look at or listen to the words read, nothing more.