Men and conquests September 23, 2012

Somebody loves me,

At a recent RWA meeting, I was asked if guys just try to chalk up conquests. I said I could only speak for myself. When I was on the market, I was looking for a mate. Although I dated someone that turned out to be drastically incompatible once, we both decided to keep the dating going for the sake of the one thing we did well together!

I also told my inquisitive friend that there was a basic instinct built into both men and women. Often at a subconscious level, we access someone we meet for compatibility and mate-ability. “I’d do her[him].” Beyond that, the reason for that assessment has a lot to do with child bearing.

Sure, in a society where it is easy to have fun (with birth control) some are gaming. Probably more men than women do this because of the differences in the sexes. At an elemental level, men might want to conquer and women might want the ‘right’ mate disproportionately.

So how does a gal tell if the guy is serious or not? I think, getting to know somebody by his or her beliefs and actions in life helps. If a man practices the golden rule, he’s not likely to hurt the woman.

Do onto others, as you would have them do onto you.

The problem is how can you learn this without investing a lot of time? There are no short cuts, but a conversation about life’s philosophy without being obvious is a good way to spend part of a date. Try asking a question about charity, or bring up something in the news that shows people choosing to help or not help somebody. Sometimes it is a good start to ask them if their business is cutthroats and see how they react.

Sure, you’re being manipulative, but the outcome is very important, certainly much more important than that coffee or meal you are having on your first date.

When I fall in Love, song by Natalie and Nat King Cole