Hero and Heroine Don't Understand Each Other

It’s not just the English and Americans who are separated by a common language. The younger the fledgling couple is, the more likely they will miss the cues or clues to understanding each other’s motivations. Empathy and understanding grow with experience, which usually translates into more years on the planet.

Many married couples come to appreciate each other like a fine and aged wine.

Your young hero is built to save the world. Therefore, he’s especially prone to see compromise as weakness. This can ruin a budding relationship in a novel. Think back to all the fights you had with that wrong-for-you prospective mate. Just perhaps, if he or she became thoughtful for only a short while and reflected on the inner motivations of his or her candidate for marriage, a different outcome might have presented itself.

But, it’s dangerous and difficult to write the young hero as precocious in this way. Something about realism. That’s why many use the sidekick/mentor/wizard as a guide to a HEA (happily ever after). Besides, it’s funnier to see a young couple who the reader wants to see succeed; stumble and then the reader can’t wait to see how he/she recovers.

Save The Cat’s Nine Lives

The classic, Save the Cat!, was written by Blake Snyder as a book on screenwriting technique, but it’s principles apply to all fiction. Its title means that moment, generally in the first scene, when the writer humanizes a character. The writer uses shorthand or a quick beat(s) to establish a more likable character, i.e. usually someone the reader/movie goer can begin to identify with. The writer doesn’t need to save a cat, although it has been done. In a story I wrote, right on the first page my heroine, in interior monologue, denigrates the hero (her opponent). But in a moment’s thought worries if he is all right. Injured, he had survived an assassination attempt.
There’s a common misunderstanding about this moment. The save-the-cat moment never ends with one beat or one moment or one character. One should never forget to humanize a typically flawed character who is on a journey of change. Change is the essence of good fiction and change for the better is the essence of all happily-ever-afters. This means the writer should not drop the cat once the technique is shown. The character grows from the beginning, through the middle and to the end. It ain’t over until the fat cat meows, and we go to black.
But don’t get preachy unless it’s an inspirational. In any case, show, don’t tell.
Saving the cat is like moving a subordinate phrase to the beginning of a sentence, ahead of subject, predicate and object. That is to say, before the reader/movie goer knows much at all.
Don’t overuse the technique, but don’t forget it. Always plowing straight ahead can cause a monotonous, somnambulistic effect on a dwindling audience.
Some recommend counting to ten, before letting go of your manuscript. Just count to nine.

An excellent example of saving the cat at various strategic moments by both hero and heroine and throughout the story occurs in the Hallmark movie, Unleashing Mr. Darcy, which premiered last night. The movie is a modern take on Pride and Prejudice.

 

TEAR DROPS 2/26/2012

Why do I watch The Bachelor? A guy watching The Bachelor? What? Hey, somebody has to hand out the roses.

1. It's the only place on TV to get real (and sometimes stressful) romantic dialogue.
2. I'm a chess master and love the strategy and tactics of romance in a complicated setting. In real life, people often date more than one person until they make up their minds.
3. I love happy endings, am very romantic, and love a woman's heart (and all the other parts as well). Although this show doesn't have a great track record, it does no worse than the general populace, which right now is turning away from marriage in great numbers.
4. I like to observe men and women with nothing else to do all day and all night but discuss romance. Do you think that might help someone writing romance? It does me.

But that's not the main reason I called this meeting. (It's two for one day). Kacie cries her heart out, a little over five minutes into the 10 minute Youtube clip below. You can move the little ball forward to skip to it, or read her monologue below.

Kacie B., a 24-year-old administrative assistant from Clarksville, TN, was eliminated during the eighth episode's Rose Ceremony. She said,

   Why does this have to hurt so bad? I thought I knew what he was looking for, but I guess I was completely wrong. I had no clue this was coming and I'm so upset. Why?! It's not me. I thought it was me. I was stupid. Why am I not good enough? . . . Like I don't get it! This is why I don't love. This is why! . . . I loved him . . . and I don't know what to do now. How did this happen?! What the f-ck happened?! What the f-ck happened?!

THE REAL REASON I'M WRITING TO YOU TODAY:

Some guys are uncomfortable around tears. I'd like to share my reaction and a reason for placing tear empathy in the male POV toolbox.

My heart went out to her. I felt she unconditionally loved Ben, she felt wronged, I saw her mind in action as she attempted to cope with and understand a huge problem, I felt she was communicating with emotion. I heard her in all the beauty of the way God made women. Because of all this, I saw her way forward and if I were there I would know what to do and say to help if she wanted to share.

She'll soon repair her heart, realize Ben wasn't the ideal fit and move on.
In the meantime, some of you (and for a while me) may conclude that Ben is missing a card or two in his deck. But he didn't have the insight into Courtney's character (the other woman) that we did. I predict, he by now is completely over Courtney and moving on, once he was given enough information about her lack of character or her willingness to belittle others on TV.


For those who believe this show is scripted in whole or in part, think about the odds that no one has sold and/or published their story of being forced to speak lines in all these years.

To recap:
The Bachelor is a good place to go for dialogue inspiration.
Crying can bring understanding between a man and a woman. If ever there were a treasure house for, and reader bonding to, internal male POV, this is it.