Don’t discount old or new testament wisdom when writing. Some say the hero or heroine must show no weakness when in an antagonistic situation. Some say when you go on dates don’t reveal things about yourself that will make you look weak. Poppycock.
Yes, the very first time you meet it might be better to ask what’s your favorite color. Scratch that. Why not ask your date to say something, maybe a little thing, that’s personal about them? There’s an arc to divulging information that admits weakness and it serves a bonding purpose.
From observation and case studies I have noticed stronger bonds form when your opposite shares something ‘weak.’ When something weak comes out, the other person may walk away but another person may feel empathy. Having empathy, a wanting to protect or help that person is a first step in an arc to a solid relationship. Aren’t the best couples those who need each other?
But isn’t weakness, as divulged, a sign that the other will not be able to contribute in times of need? Psychologically, it’s the reverse. A person realizes and works at diminishing their weaknesses and sees that in the other. No one is perfect. If everything were perfect why would the other want a partner? There’s a nurturing instinct in all of us that should not be ignored. Is it as simple as wanting to help the other have a happier life? Isn’t that love?
So the idea here is to write a scene in which the hero and heroine have flaws and over time are willing to talk about them.
Doing something good for someone makes you feel needed or good.