Ask a male author about your male character traits or thoughts.

Amazon links to my stories: The Chess Master, Cinnamon & Sugar, Autumn Breeze, A More Perfect Union, Double Happiness, The Wolves of Sherwood Forest, Neanderthals and the Garden of Eden can be found down the right side of the blog. Another site very useful in categorizing books in their proper order is: https://www.booksradar.com/richard-rw/richard.html


Visit my website at: https://rwrichardnet.wordpress.com/

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Love is Blind

I found a show on Netflix called Love is Blind.

I enjoyed it from a philosophical point of view. If in meeting someone you are overpowered by physical attraction, do you not, at least for a while, ignore or fail to observe their compatibility with you? Some carry this on to marriage and wake up after it is too late. They get divorced, a messy and expensive enterprise that rips hearts.

On a minor note the show's producers must have encouraged the participants to toss around four-letter words like they were going out of style. i sincerely doubt that this represents the way people talk to each other.

The way it works: a bunch of men and women go on numerous dates in pods, separate rooms. They can't see each other. They only have words. Needless to say, this forces the two people in the pods to ask more serious questions than "my place or yours."

IMO, love is not blind but the technic brings people together who might not have given a second thought to the other upon meeting. They would have never talked except for courtesies like how are you, isn't the weather wonderful, got to love those (name a team). This doesn't circumvent natural selection because it is natural. Everything humans do is natural. And secondly, they have a chance to run for the hills if they are not physically attracted to their opposite (or even for other reasons).

Modern life is often shallow and fast-paced. It's our duty to slow down to appreciate the beauty in all things. Anyway, some of the proposals that come out of the show actually result in solid marriages. 2 out of 5. But that's not the point. The show is simply asking us to dig deeper before saying we are falling head over heals with someone. Falling implies losing control. Never diminish your ability to make kind-hearted and rational decisions. Then devote yourselves to that special someone.

Seven Types of love displayed in a romance novel

The ancient Greeks had a thing for love. in fact, they intellectualized everything. This made for amazing advances in civilization.

They categorized love:

1. Eros, sensual passion

2. Ludus, playful love

3. Philautia, self-love

4. Storge, parental love

5. Philia, deep friendship

6. Agape, love for everyone

7. Pragma, committed love

8. Minia, obsessive love

It's those Greeks again. Many scholars water this down to Eros, Agape, and Philos. For the purpose of writing any romance story, I believe that all three types must show up in the novel to make it a meaningful success.

Eros: erotic love or intimate love but according to Plato: Eros is the natural desire to seek beauty. He wrote, "he who loves the beautiful is called a lover because he partakes of it." Okay, this could be an excuse for jumping from bed to bed. But I see a man or woman feeling close or one to become part of that beauty.

Philia: Ideal love or brotherly love. (Philadelphia). Aristotle said that pone must feel love for themselves before they can love others. Plato theorized that the best philia blossoms out of eros. (your mate is your best friend.)

Agape: Universal love. A good current example are the strangers in Poland that are taking into their homes, Ukranians. Agape is something inside us that has love for all living things. There are those who hate ass a way of life. This is not only defective and destructive but a denial of purpose of life.

So what does this have to do with writing romance novels. It's the arcs or growth as human beings that your characters travel through that make your story complete. A story that only focuses on Eros is written in a vacuum. Like a true artist you may paint a picture of how your characters interact in this world and how these goals to be better at life change the way they are. And how about that prospective mate who requests change or challenges to bring out the best in both. And what of their friends? How do they react to events around them together or apart?

Today, it is not sufficient, IMO, to not show them reacting and pro-acting in this world.