Falling in Love—Bachelorette Style (a dance)

Why the Bachelorette finale was an amazing (example of how men and women think and act while falling in love). August 11, 2013
 

Many who hadn’t watched any or all of the episodes and casually tuned in to watch the finale either for a train wreck or a marriage proposal accepted were left wondering how Desiree could switch away so easily from the perceived front runner, Brooks, to Chris.

But I watched every episode and saw things differently. Weeks before the finale, Desiree, in a talk with the host, Chris Harrison, said she was falling in love with two men (Brooks and Chris). These feeling grew over time. The skeptic might ask how you can be in love or falling for two. Desiree answered this easily by stating her dating philosophy for the show. She would be in the moment with each person, giving her date full attention. This enabled her to see the good (or bad) in each man because she was invested in the guy’s life (needs and desire). She stated early in the show, she hoped to find a guy who was a good communicator besides the chemistry. Chris and Brooks were on a par with her intellectually. Chris and she exchanged some very good poetry. He was also quick witted. He was the one who got out of the limo the first night, kneeled before her and asked permission to tie his shoe. Perfect. Brooks engaged her with deep conversation about life.

In the end, Brooks failed because he was not romantic enough for whatever reason, plus he “didn’t love her enough.” When he told her he was leaving, she threw a huge fit. Why—she was fully invested in him as the most likely winner. But, she soon realized, love which isn’t given back is an illusion. During the fit, she said she might not be able to love the remaining two men. Might. She obviously thought long and hard about it. During the marriage proposal she told Chris he was the greatest man she ever knew and that she was searching but here he is and was standing right in front of her all the while—her man.

Chris loves her and she him, even Brooks saw this. It was obvious to me that Desiree’s feelings for Brooks dissipated quickly.

For those who have trouble with someone loving two people, I might ask a philosophical question. Consider if man is naturally monogamous (in spite of some evidence to the contrary (like the divorce rate))….or old religions, etc. Maybe some are some aren’t!

Tonight’s clip is of the proposal, thanks to ABC. For us romance writers, I firmly believe this show and especially Desiree’s speech (and his) are a gold mine of ideas or insights into the magic of falling in love.

Since neither Chris or Desiree knew if the proposal would be accepted I joke about it being a dance of emotions. Pay attention to Chris's reactions when she stops him from kneeling down. My heart would have broken, but I'm a quick on the spot reassemble. Much can be learned as a writer by listening to their words and watching their body language.
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I'd be extremely surprised if these two broke up. During 'the after the final rose show' Chris intimated how the pressures on them from disbelievers worried him for their future together.

Hang in there you two, you are meant for each other. 

 

 

Why a romance writer could use the bachelorette

DESIREE HARTSOCK, July 28, 2013

I know, it's that time again and some of you hate or love the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. I'm a romantic. I love the show. I know you can hate the show and be a romantic or write romance. I'm just suggesting, that watching it can become a window into the way guys think. That's why I write this blog. I know if I were on the show and the woman was right for me, I'd fall in love whether or not some other guy ended up with her. If you don't try to love or put your heart on the line you would never know for sure. Right?

Some reality shows are so closely contrived by the producers, but the B/B doesn't need it (in fact, it would ruin the show). Sure, the producers choose their cuts wisely for maximize the emotional impact (just like we do with our writing). If you are immersed 24/7/8 weeks or whatever with love the only question to ponder, and if you have a heart, you'll become invested. Sometimes people play the system, not really being ready, but there fairly easy to spot.

I'll go out on a limb and predict Desiree Hartsock (like a name from a romance novel) will find love.

I have been inspired by their dialogue and asides (interior monologue) in my own writing. Of one contestant no longer on the show, Juan Pablo, Desiree had said, "he's like a dream of a man." This simple sentence had a huge impact on me, to the point I felt compelled to repeat it in my last completed novel.

My predictions for the finale tomorrow:

Drew will either be eliminated or eliminate himself. Why? Because Desiree has previously said she was falling in love with these two remaining men:

Brooks. He is sitting on the fence about whether he can make a lifelong commitment to Desiree and this should ruin his chances. Although, at this point, I can see how Desiree could make a mmistake. She's crazy about him. But she's also crazy about:

Chris. Chris is also in love with Desiree and has said so. He write her poems and she writes back. They have similar interests. The list is long for them. She should pick Chris.

Funny thing about the ABC web site bios. They list shoes sizes (snick). Chris's is a size 12, which means he has the biggest (feet). Funnier still, when Desiree was asked by her grilfirends from the previous season who she thought might be the best lover, she in a multi-bleeped response said Chris.

Now come on girls. Do you carry rulers in your purses?

Here's a clip, courtesy ABC of tomorrow's finale.