Ben and Lauren

Before you run for the hills, as I know some of you are not reality TV fans, listen up. ABC Family, now called, Freeform is offering Ben & Lauren: Happily Ever After? on Tuesday night at 8PM.

I cannot recommend this, so obviously scripted, show to anyone who wants to check out reality TV offerings, unless you’re a diehard The Bachelor or The Bachelorette fan. Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell are so obviously in love, are so gorgeous a couple and have sdo much to offer each other, that I’ll eat my hat if any of the worries the show’s producers try to throw our way work out to be remotely “real.” If you are struggling for a definition of love or how a young couple should act, these two are the real deal.

Aside from watching fake drama, and knowing it, I can’t not watch. I never watch happily ever after the after shows or read such books, not just because they are labeled Chick Flicks or women’s fiction. As an example, on Hallmark last night, the Good Witch premiered its latest in the series. My wife and I agreed, it dragged. The plot was all too familiar, the romantic arc for the witch revolved around one line of dialogue at the end of the show, “I thought of you, last night.”

Okay, this will be my first bad review. I’m sure the show was fun for those steeped in the Witch’s lore. Call me a sap, but I like plots that revolve around happily ever afters (and many men do).

https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KIo9XnQw1YFE0AeUr7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTExaW9lYTgwBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDVklEQzEEZ3BvcwMyMg--?p=ben+%26+lauren%3A+happily+ever+after&vid=ac7294c0935b54a435b3ba443df4c693&turl=https%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOVP.Vfbbe6712157aaafc81394d43cd2e98a6%26pid%3D15.1%26h%3D360%26w%3D480%26c%3D7%26rs%3D1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSEA15HmQAoI&tit=The+Bachelor%26%2339%3Bs+Ben+%26+Lauren+%26quot%3BHappily+Ever+After%26quot%3B+Preview&c=21&h=360&w=480&l=249&sigr=11bv94271&sigt=126ra1drs&sigi=132cekl4p&age=1476074533&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&fr=yfp-t-s&tt=b
Lauren and Ben, well, you are my guilty pleasure.

A Diverse Hero or Heroine

We’ve all seen and heard the dissension lately about the lack of diversity on some TV but mostly in the movies. The old way of thinking goes something like the majority of people watching (or reading) are white so give them white heroes and heroines. This has always been short sighted, as so many TV programs have shown. Nowadays, young and new adults are colorblind. The majority of people in the US will soon be non-white, so why not reflect the real needs of Americans.

What about what's right or wrong?

 

I confess, I marched for civil and equal rights. We older writers might notice things differently than our younger readers. A liberal writer might feel guilty not seeing any other race in the lead role. The same might be said, nowadays, for a cultural conservative. They’d say let the most talented rise to the top. These are people who love Doctor Carson. The point: We all might see color, our younger readers won’t. This is why whoever you write as your hero or heroine, make that person and their problems compelling and be colorblind.

Is the Academy of Arts and Sciences prejudiced in practice? I don’t know.

Is the popular TV franchise the Bachelor/Bachelorette failing to be diverse? I do know. Paul Lee, ABC Entertainment Group President and The Bachelor producer, Mike Fleiss are tweaking the system for choosing the next lead, not by simply picking the one who has the maximum exposure. Near and dear to my heart is the gorgeous half-Filipina woman, Caila, who is expected to get the nod as next Bachelorette. My wife is Filipina. Please know that the show has had many people of color on it, they just haven’t won with the notable exception of another Filipina, Catherine, who married her “Bachelor,” Sean.

Hallmark Romance TV movies (there are hundreds of them) has always had white heroes and heroines. It’s embarrassing (as I have remarked before).

So, consider that your younger hero/heroine is very likely to be colorblind if you tell the story true.

Pitfall for writers: infusing your young characters with the mindset you carried through another era.

 

A Tale of Two Loves

Handsome Ben at 26 wants to find the love his parents have. This 6’4” Renaissance man was a star quarterback, loves basketball, and yet is an avid traveler and a champion of varied cultures. He has worked at a zoo in Peru, traveled through the jungles of Bolivia and even hiked the spiritual trails of famed Machu Picchu.

Ben has time off from work now and has committed to focus every day on finding love. He found too much.

One gorgeous woman, Amanda, 25, divorced, with two little girls is compelling with a nurturing, funny personality. Ben's heart, being infinite, has more than enough room for Amanda and her two babies.

The other woman*, Lauren, also 25, is the cutest girl ever. She’s funny and empathetic. Both women live by the Golden Rule.

According to societal rules he must choose one if he wants to be married, (the rare alternative, polygamy, is not attractive to any of them). Therefore, he must shred his own heart, break someone else’s and never look back. Be a man, but it won't be easy.

How can a man or a woman be in love with two? Love is infinite, but earthly life is finite. Think back to the days you were dating and I bet you can identify a point in time where you were uncertain as to which direction to take.

The good news. Dedicating to one person does not mean the other will be miserable forever. A woman with great qualities will get over it and find someone else. Love is infinite.

The great news. Dedicating oneself to finding love is also a matter of education and he's going at it, 24/7. Here the advanced degree on life will reap unending benefits for the couple.

I'm going beyond my simple point to say that his also-rans, girls three and four, were amazing women as well.
*Actually at the time of this writing, there are four women left, so the two I chose, as if I had a vicarious interest are just that, Bob's choices, not Ben's. The four remaining are, each in their own way, terrific catches.

Here's a promo for ABC's The Bachelor that fleshes out my thesis above and gives you a chance to ogle via the privacy of your home computer, Ben Higgins and his possible mates.