1. Men nurtured by their moms

I wonder what constitutes a fatal flaw. We’re writing. We’re told to introduce a fatal flaw. Well, don’t take that too literally unless you’re writing a tragedy or some fatalistic or nihilistic fare. No room for a romance with a happily ever after, right?

A man not loved and nurtured by his mother is nearly ruined IMO. If you have a situation like that, you’ll walk a minefield with at least two deep arcs. One arc over his mom and the other over being able to love someone in a mature way.

This problem is a great excuse to read case histories and studies on this subject. When done, try a man without a father figure or a father who didn’t love or nurture. The same goes for heroines.

It’s a rare child who can see he or she isn’t loved and decides he or she is of value and will grow up normally and be able to love. Because without examples, how will they be able to figure it out? Maybe Sponge Bob has something to say. No seriously, kids could learn from some TV character or later from some book or some great teacher how love works. Somewhere along the line, they’ll need to experience it.

Men, nurtured and loved by their moms, make better heroes or at least ones who are a little easier to write. There are plenty of other demons lurking to give your hero ‘fatal flaws.’ Try to save mom, she'd appreciate it.

No more wire hangers.

Do men like Tomboys?

 All of us have attributes of both sexes in varying degrees. A Tomboy is often labeled as competitive, especially in sports. Or they might like to fix cars, lift weights, take to hammer and nails, etc.

I can only speak for myself this time because every man has a different opinion of who they are attracted, and why. I like women who are competitive in whatever they want to do. I don't find attractive heavy weight lifting by a woman because I find myself more attracted to the waif or athletic type.

I do want a woman to challenge and I firmly believe that men and women are equals.

This is why this season of The Bachelorette (ABC) intrigues me.

Michelle Young is the bachelorette and she's a Tomboy. In high school, she finished in second place all-state basketball. This is where her urge to excel manifests itself. She was a kindergarten teacher and now teaches fifth-grade. She, at first, refused ABC's gig, because she didn't want to abandon her 'kids.' ABC rearranged the schedule to accommodate her.

She's not the kind of Tomboy who always wants to top a male, is in Doris Day's portrayal in Annie Get Your Gun. No, Michelle understands that collaboration should lead to love but don't challenge her in basketball.

In the second episode, she had her men seated in small schoolroom desks and quizzed them. Some were god awful in arithmetic, lol, and her kid helpers weren't afraid to point it out.

Michelle's fear is not being seen [as a person or as a woman]. She grew up the only bi-racial girl and didn't get asked out on dates. [Sometimes missing a part of oneself can lead to excellence in another area as compensation, hence basketball.]

Michelle is lovely and loving and would make any man a good partner.

Nesting

 Often neglected as a technique in a romance novel is showing an adult male nesting. If he's excited to prepare a room for a new baby, a mother-in-law, lol, or more to the point the lady who is about to move in and needs an office, the writer has another opportunity to enrich the story and make the characters more real. One thing I see often is the male running around trying to straighten up. Not quite the same flavor, but he gets points and the reader will wonder if he'll just backslide back into slobbery.