Men do not think about sex every seven seconds. July 29, 2012

Men and sex, July 29, 2012

I sat at a table with Golden Heart nominees at RWA 2012. One lady, not knowing I was there, walked up to the table, propped her leg on the adjoining chair to show off a new temporary tat of a phoenix on her calf. In a jovial mood and trying to break the ice I told her how much I liked her tat and asked everybody there to show me their legs. (Can you get in worse trouble?) Mayhem ensued, well maybe not that bad. Somebody said men think of sex every six seconds, I retorted "that's not true . . . it's all the time." What I said is true. Men and women have an instinct of attraction that can not be denied, no matter if they're married or found their soulmate. Society and inner rules teach us to ignore this basic attraction to the point you might not know it's there. What flashed through my mind as best as I can reconstruct it, was, I looked at her shapely leg, then quickly swept my eyes up her body to her face and decided instantly she was a match. A match for what, I have no idea (I've forgotten), since I'm taken. That's the way God made us. I was also thinking at the same time in a more deliberate less instinctual way how great these women are, how joyous, supportive, and anxious (to find out who won) they were. I admired this group. Everything I want to do in writing was represented in their struggles. Below is the Snopes link debunking "men think of sex every six seconds." http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/thinksex.asp I'm not recommending you follow your instincts, especially when it would tarnish you and your 'match.' Maybe your characters will celebrate their true colors for you. Writers can travel anywhere on the wings of a phoenix. Let Cyndi Lauper inspire you:  TRUE COLORS The girl with the phoenix tattoo showed her true colors, a mix of joy and love. .......

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HEADS DOWN, July 6, 2012

Heads Down, July 6, 2012

I can’t always be pithy. But I can get down and dirty. I hear a lot of talk about six-pack abs with my RWA friends and see it in a huge number of romance novels. I never gave it much thought until I watched the U.S. Olympic trials in swimming this summer through the eyes of a male romance writer trying to make it in a predominantly female business. I used to be a champion butterflyer, so I had focused on stroke, dive, and turn mechanics rather than the way muscles looked unless they were the sleek bodies of the women competitors.

But the guys, Lochte, Phelps, etc. have smooth or nearly smooth, flat abdomens. Most swimmers do as well. Lumpy doesn’t work well with the total body stretching to produce speed (it’s not just arms, hands, feet, and legs that make a champion (swimmer)).

My main point here is that far too many heroes are described as having the ‘ideal’ six-pack abs which borders or stereotyping and cliché (although not one female reader will mind). This, in a roundabout way, does get me back to guys’ POV. We swimmers want to be recognized with our shirts off. The Arnold Swartzeneggers of the world could be anchors on our teams, because they’d sink to the bottom. Some guys, do read romances, and sometimes a fresh perspective is appreciated by female readers.

“No muscle bound man, Could take my hand, From my guy.” Mary Wells.

Some women like less muscle, some more, some lumpy, some not. Mary Wells sings about qualities a lot of women want.

Maybe some women prefer swimmers, besides we can hold our breath.

1964: Mary Wells Original recording of My Guy,