AGENT SIX AND THREE QUARTERS

Men can't help compare themselves to other men. It's like a ridiculous and usually subconscious monkey on your back that you try to ignore.

The following is dedicated to a dear friend and former CIA agent who passed away.

Agent Six and Three Quarters

They gave me that name because I couldn’t measure up to James Bond. Nobody can really. Fictional characters are fictional for a reason. The nickname was born of affection not derision, anyway. Apparently, I’m considered better than agent Six and a Half. As for my shortcomings—well don’t we all have them—six and three quarters is a good measure for just about anything.

I am very much real. I’ve met the enemy, none of them measure up, because they live in an upside down world in which good is evil and evil is good. The downtrodden people they claim to help, they hurt.

The fictional Bond had a glaring defect, but violence sells movie tickets. The real work is much harder and to some not as exciting. You’ll never see my exploits on the silver screen, well maybe a BBC or PBS effort. Bond has no feelings for the people he kills. It’s unlikely you’d get a job here at the CIA if you didn’t try to get to the bottom of a problem. Analyze strengths and weaknesses; turn your enemy into an ally. The CIA recruits renaissance men and women, who might not do too badly on Jeopardy.

When you negotiate you have a chance at solving greater problems. Notice the word negotiate? Here I shout. I’m not going to stop here and go on about the stubborn idiots in congress. You all know how I feel.

Calming down now. Back to the Middle East: Some religious radicals, distort their faith with misguided notions. We were all born into a set of beliefs given to us by hopefully loving parents. Generally we don’t question them, much. Neither does your average terrorist. It’s the beliefs endowed by our creator which any candidate for human being need find in life’s journey.

Yes, I have a license to kill, but isn’t it better to use a license to think. I always found a better way because I am agent Six and Three Quarters.

 

Then again, there aren't too many movies in which negotiation and nothing else wins the day. Enjoy a retrospective of fifty years of Bond.