Men do not think about sex every seven seconds. July 29, 2012

Men and sex, July 29, 2012

I sat at a table with Golden Heart nominees at RWA 2012. One lady, not knowing I was there, walked up to the table, propped her leg on the adjoining chair to show off a new temporary tat of a phoenix on her calf. In a jovial mood and trying to break the ice I told her how much I liked her tat and asked everybody there to show me their legs. (Can you get in worse trouble?) Mayhem ensued, well maybe not that bad. Somebody said men think of sex every six seconds, I retorted "that's not true . . . it's all the time." What I said is true. Men and women have an instinct of attraction that can not be denied, no matter if they're married or found their soulmate. Society and inner rules teach us to ignore this basic attraction to the point you might not know it's there. What flashed through my mind as best as I can reconstruct it, was, I looked at her shapely leg, then quickly swept my eyes up her body to her face and decided instantly she was a match. A match for what, I have no idea (I've forgotten), since I'm taken. That's the way God made us. I was also thinking at the same time in a more deliberate less instinctual way how great these women are, how joyous, supportive, and anxious (to find out who won) they were. I admired this group. Everything I want to do in writing was represented in their struggles. Below is the Snopes link debunking "men think of sex every six seconds." http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/thinksex.asp I'm not recommending you follow your instincts, especially when it would tarnish you and your 'match.' Maybe your characters will celebrate their true colors for you. Writers can travel anywhere on the wings of a phoenix. Let Cyndi Lauper inspire you:  TRUE COLORS The girl with the phoenix tattoo showed her true colors, a mix of joy and love. .......

Sharing Successful!

Share again!You've successfully shared using Po.st!

Welcome to po.st!

Powered by Po.stPrivacy policy

HEADS DOWN, July 6, 2012

Heads Down, July 6, 2012

I can’t always be pithy. But I can get down and dirty. I hear a lot of talk about six-pack abs with my RWA friends and see it in a huge number of romance novels. I never gave it much thought until I watched the U.S. Olympic trials in swimming this summer through the eyes of a male romance writer trying to make it in a predominantly female business. I used to be a champion butterflyer, so I had focused on stroke, dive, and turn mechanics rather than the way muscles looked unless they were the sleek bodies of the women competitors.

But the guys, Lochte, Phelps, etc. have smooth or nearly smooth, flat abdomens. Most swimmers do as well. Lumpy doesn’t work well with the total body stretching to produce speed (it’s not just arms, hands, feet, and legs that make a champion (swimmer)).

My main point here is that far too many heroes are described as having the ‘ideal’ six-pack abs which borders or stereotyping and cliché (although not one female reader will mind). This, in a roundabout way, does get me back to guys’ POV. We swimmers want to be recognized with our shirts off. The Arnold Swartzeneggers of the world could be anchors on our teams, because they’d sink to the bottom. Some guys, do read romances, and sometimes a fresh perspective is appreciated by female readers.

“No muscle bound man, Could take my hand, From my guy.” Mary Wells.

Some women like less muscle, some more, some lumpy, some not. Mary Wells sings about qualities a lot of women want.

Maybe some women prefer swimmers, besides we can hold our breath.

1964: Mary Wells Original recording of My Guy,

Guys writing romance June 19, 2012

GUYS WRITING ROMANCE JUNE 19, 2012

A friend of mine told me I’d have to be gay to be any good at writing romance.

“You’d have to be gay to watch guys in tight clothing tackling each other for three or four hours straight, very straight [you’d be],” I said.

So there we were arguing during a moving moment of Project Runway. You know, I would have liked to hear what Austin Scarlet had to say about Mondo Guerra.

In previous posts, I talked about renaissance men, artists, and men who have harnessed both sides of their brain, imagine that.

Hemmingway wrote ‘write what you know’ and if female writers took his dictum too literally they’d never write male POV.

We ‘know’ through our common experiences and a good dose of empathy. We become nearly telepathic in understanding the opposite sex and we make up fantastic creatures that people can identify with.

Yes, we all make mistakes with the opposite sex, but that too finds its way into our writing.

 

I thought I had a story to tell when I wrote my first novel about people who lived 100,000 years ago and their wolf friends. I wasn’t there, but I nailed it with a ton of the latest scientific research and common sense. So we write what we know or are about to know.

When I started with RWA San Diego I entered the Spring Into Romance contest and placed in the middle of a bunch of women (I assume). This year I tied for fifth. So I write what I know by association with my loving chapter mates, all the great writers at the chapter, the courses, and talks offered. I think finishing fifth demonstrates that I can write romance.

Okay, I wasn’t really watching Project Runway with a male friend. Most guys have a hard time understanding art as it is applied and showcased in it’s many forms (I love that show). The most beautiful form for me being the human female followed by my dogs of course.

Men say less and think less? June 12, 2012

June 12, 2012

Men say less and think less. What?

In the June 2012 addition of RWR (which also stands for Robert W. Richard) Nancy Gideon wrote an excellent article on POV. At one point she writes, “Men’s dialogue and thoughts are sparse, women’s descriptive and complex.”

Well I don’t know what to say or think.

I get where she’s coming from. Editors expect delivered to them this tradition. I decided to ask Einstein if he didn’t speak much or think. He wasn’t available. In a previous blog of mine I postulated (this is a rebellious blog site FYI) that when a man isn’t talking (much) he’s thinking. To be fair we all think while we talk. So I’ll grant you that women speak more. It’s a well-studied and statistical fact. In my experience, men do a whole lot of thinking. I’d hazard to guess men think as much as women (dare they). Ask me, I might not say much, but I am surely thinking about something, perhaps that Hockey final.

Don’t go changing your manuscripts. Romance is read primarily by women and your editor is the boss. On the other hand, wouldn’t your readers like to get (on) in the head of some hunk? Someday however stand up for your lettered Renaissance man.

If you’d like to see men translating their interior monologue into speech you should catch last night’s episode of The Bachelorette. It’s a classic for this purpose and if you know Emily Maynard and her six-year-old daughter, well, carry a hanky. For those romance authors who don’t like The Bachelorette or Bachelor I humbly recommend it as a treasure trove of dialogue, and interior monologue.

Finishing with a funny: Jennifer Aniston loves the Bachelor/ette but starred in a spoof of it called Burning Love.



Jennifer Aniston Makes Hilarious Appearance In ‘The Bachelor’ Spoof

Created 06/05/2012 - 6:30pm

By Radar Staff
We never thought that we would catch Jennifer Aniston on a dating show!
The former Friend, who has never been bashful about her fascination with The Bachelor, made a surprise guest appearance on the Ben Stiller produced web series Burning Love – a spoof of the popular reality show – dressing up in a bear costume and competing for the ‘final hose’ against The Hangover star Ken Jeong, Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman - and RadarOnline.com has the hilarious video.
PHOTOS: Jennifer Aniston Through The Years

• Ben Stiller
• Jennifer Aniston
• Ken Jeong
• Krsiten Bell
• Malin Akerman
• reality TV
• spoof
• The Bachelor
• Video

BELOW WILL TAKE YOU TO THE SITE IF YOU'D LIKE TO SPEND APPROX. TEN MINUTES LAUGHING AT THE SPOOF.

Source URL (retrieved on 06/12/2012 - 7:46pm): http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/06/jennifer-aniston-bachelor-spoof-video

Men nurtured by their moms 5/27/2012

Men nurtured by their moms. May 27, 2012

I wonder what constitutes a fatal flaw. We’re writing. We’re told to introduce a fatal flaw. Well, don’t take that too literally unless you’re writing tragedy. Or some fatalistic or nihilistic fare. No room for a romance with a happily ever after.

A man not loved and nurtured by his mother is nearly ruined IMO. If you have a situation like that, you’ll walk a mind field with at least two deep arcs. One arc over his mom and the other over being able to love someone in a mature way.

It’s a great excuse to read case histories and studies on this subject. When done, try a man without a father figure or a father who didn’t love or nurture. The same goes for women.

It’s a rare child who can see he or she isn’t loved and decides he or she is of value and will grow up normally and be able to love. Because without examples, how will they be able to figure it out? Maybe Sponge Bob has something to say. No really, kids could learn from some TV character or later from some book or some great teacher how love works. Somewhere along the line, they’ll need to experience it.

I created a thirteen-year-old girl in one of my stories who has lost a father who had loved her. Then she lost her mother to drink (over the loss of a husband). Then her mother dies. Will she be able to cope? Yes, she remembers better times. Although she starts the story swearing off love, she’ll come around.

Men, nurtured and loved by their moms, make better heroes or at least ones who are a little easier to write. There are plenty of other demons lurking to give your hero ‘fatal flaws.’ Try to save mom.

No more wire hangers.

The Man who had no mother May 16, 2012

May 16, 2012

I read a recent post by Jannine Petska about a guy (engineer) in a grocery store line who thought all fiction was a waste of time and all romance fiction doubly so. He promoted non-fiction as the only material worth reading or writing.

This comes under the title: things I'd like to say but usually just hold my tongue.

Romance writer says to emotionally challenged male:

"Without romance there'd be no human race." Or.

"I take it you hate women?!"

I once was an engineeer, but a good one. I knew that without a systems approach your little contribution would be doomed to fail or be worse than useless.

As far as systems go, the human being is the most complicated (I like to say infinitely more complicated than (fill in the blank)) and fascinating living organism in the known universe. That we can see eternity or perfection from our back window is an unending source of Wow.

The wow in my life has always been the human female. I can't think of anything more fasciniting than the internal monologue and external dialogue of a great heroine and to be fair and balanced, hero. If done right, the story has a transcendent timeless quality difficult to find in any other fiction and certainly in some dry text. For instance, if I mention Robin and Marian your heart and core being is involved, your understanding of a love so great, it will always represent the best between a man and a woman. If I mention F=MA your curiosity may or may not be engaged. You might want to solve some problem like how fast would a woman have to throw a punch and with what force to knock out a pest who hates romances.

BTW: "Who needs to buy non-fiction these days. You can find it all on the internet. What, you only paid $109.95?"

The 50 greatest romance movies May 8, 2012

May 8th, 2012

I've just returned from vacation and found the 50 Greatest Movie Romances  http://movies.msn.com/photo-gallery/feature/50-greatest-movie-romances/ on MSN today irresistable.

The reviewer seems compelled to distance himself or apologize at times for the romance. Which is why I offer this to you. He also confuses chick flicks with romances. All this male bravado aside, some of his comments are deep and his list is thought provoking. I'm pissed You've Got Mail didn't make it, but I got over it. Hey, I have my own list. The critic also references screwball comedies. Hey, what about It Happened One Night or even the Adventures of Robin Hood.