A FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE

Don’t overwhelm friends and family with your writerly skills at a wedding when you’re asked to give a speech. My daughter is getting married this week and right before the dinner I and the father of the groom will be asked to speak.

As far as writing goes, I know not to use cliché, as in, “I’m not losing a daughter but gaining a son.” I change that to either, “I’ll treat you as if you are my own son,” or “know that I love you and I will never waiver.” It’s easy. Ben and Laura are a great match.

Next problem, it’s a civil ceremony. There will be no prayer, except through the philosophy of various readings, toasts and the words of the friend who is marrying them. My toast comes before the meal. I, being trained to the point of almost becoming a priest back when, think of strange things like the symbolism of a reception meal and comparing it to food that feeds the soul like manna or Eucharist. So, I’ll say something like, “I’ll keep this short because of our supper, but consider that this meal represents our communion with the newlyweds and our promise to love them.”

Next, is just me, with the me diminished, because the wedding is not about me.

When I was a freshman in college I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart and miserable. I shared with my mom that I worried about never getting married, that nobody would want me for the rest of her life. Mom counseled me about how I was great catch but more importantly started in on a Catholic lecture about vocation. “You son, may find a calling to become a priest or stay single or marry.” One is not better than the other, it depends on what path the Lord has set for you to walk.”

Interesting, right? It was the sixties; I marched for civil and equal rights so when it came time for Del and me to raise two daughters I remembered my mom’s words and applied my own twist. “Daughter, you are a complete human being, God has given you many talents. Follow the golden Rule. Use your gifts well and show me what you have done with them. You choose which vocation you feel is right for you and we will support you. This man, our new son, is so right for you. I know you have chosen the right path.”

The worst thing you can do at a wedding right before a meal is go on and on, so I’ll raise my glass, “To Ben and Laura.”

So what possible entertainment (via video) can I unleash on you this week? Someday I’ll find that classic scene form a movie, I’ve forgotten the name of, that shows brides in dresses for different times of the year, but for now—let’s lighten it up with counterpoint to the heavy I put on you above:

Oh Daddy by Adrian Belew, 3 min video 1989:

 

Okay, for those who insist on crying at weddings and who took the title of my post literally, here's a father daughter dance that should come with Kleenex:

 

 

 

THE ART OF WRITING MALE CHARACTERS

After I'm done editing 2.5 years of posts, I'll release this blog as a Kindle non-fiction book on the craft of Writing. I could use your eyes on the draft preface below to see if it is impelling. I also will be able to navigate the material and put together an online course for RWASD, if anyone is interested.

PREFACE

How to use this book.

This is not a ‘how-to’ book on writing. You will get very little, please change “It was a dark and stormy night” to “No one he knew would care that the dreary and loud storm matched his misery.”

I list books I recommend here and finish with:

It’s closer to a book on advanced subtleties like:

BETWEEN THE LINES by Morrell

So what is it exactly and how can you use it?

It is a philosophical approach to writing male characters taking into full account their maleness in contrast or in comparison to female characters. What makes a man/character who he is? What gives him meaning? How real is he?

• Is the hero or supporting guy written one-dimensionally like a comic book hero?
• Is the character written two-dimensionally like an alpha hero with a flaw?
• Is the character written three-dimensionally to show his heart?
• Is the character written four-dimensionally to show his approach to life in specific ways that set him apart and make him memorable? The author goes there.
• Or is he into the fifth dimension? That is, he’s a fan of the sixties and seventies band, The Fifth Dimension. The author doesn’t go there.

There are numerous texts covering character development in all genres. Although this book will seem slanted toward romance novels, it can be used to fully develop the male character in any genre. In a story, when a guy and gal have any kind of relationship, the reader will want reactions, actions and thoughts that feel real. Consider a four-dimensional approach. The female perspective is beyond the scope of this book but can be derived by comparison. The posts are often written in a romantic tone (see example at end of the preface.

This is a niche book for when you are stumped or your husband’s not around to say that feels right or not. Or you don’t trust your years of intuition, interaction and observation with that beast you live with or have met in dark alleys.

In a story devoid of the opposite sexes interacting in any way (thought or action) the writer will use non-gender specific traits to propel the story forward. That is, it would likely be possible after reading the story to change William’s name to Betty without ill effect. As a thought experiment, consider this opening line. “Call me Isabelle.” Picture the entire crew in the novel Moby Dick as female. Did you laugh and/or find it a fanciful journey to a planet where women could do what they want?

This book transitions from busting stereotypical conventional wisdom one point at a time to finding gems or unique ways to write a male character and finishes with classic errors and how to correct them before they ruin a novel.

There are three bonus short stories by the author, which are labeled in the table of contents along with all the topics.

POV = point of view.

Here’s an example of the typical length (short), content and style of the posts, now chapters in a book on writing:

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Validation

I insert the July 5tht post here.

For today, we had better shape up! (our books)
You're the one that I want - Grease - John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John 1978

 

Honey, I'm good

Honey, I’m good.

This is my 181^st weekly post about the male point of view in fiction. I intend to collate, edit and publish up to this point and could use your help with a catchy title.

Here lies a cautionary tale marking the end of book one:

If you are writing in the hero’s point of view, consider the arc (change) that the hero goes through especially if the story is a romance. [Change is good in all genres because it creates tension and page turning.]
 
Mainstream science teaches us that male monogamy is myth. One man wants to populate the Earth and needs no help from anybody else, thank you very much. If you write your hero and he doesn’t confront this basic urge you may miss an important dramatic opportunity. Leaving the “real” out might create a comic book hero or someone not textured.
 
Males approach their basest needs in six different ways:

1.      Cheat. They’re married or coupled but don't want to resist other women.

2.      Swap. They talk their mate into spicing up their marriage or arrangement.

3.      Sublimate. They do their best to sit on urges by keeping themselves busy with harmless substitutes (bowling with the boys, video games, etc.). But someday the video console might crack and that cute girl at the office will want to play Mario with him.

4.      Control. Their strong personality allows them to apply mind over biology. Will they falter in a moment of weakness?

5.      Drift. They’re passive, meak. They go with the flow. One take-charge woman can drag him off to her lair.

6.      Believe. Here’s where many romance writers hang their hat (a bit too easily?). The hero believes (strongly) in soulmates. Or has a religious or world view that contends with conventional wisdom. Will this evolved man flip-flop? Please note that science is not unanimous on the subject of whether a man is wired to want more than one woman.

Is what we write merely fairy tale, escape? I personally feel that the hero has two struggles: the need for sex and the need for love. Which one is stronger? Which one fulfills or adds meaning and joy to his life and those around him?

My literary point is: you’ll enrich your story if you include a struggle (internal and/or external) using one or more of the six points above. For romance, it is clear. The reader demands a happily-ever-after. That doesn’t mean you should have your hero lay down for the reader. Well, maybe in her imagination.

Honey, I’m Good*, 2015, sung by Andy Grammer from his album, Magazines or Novels. In this cute song, the protagonist struggles with monogamy. He’s a 4 or 6 or both (*is a play on words):

Who cares if there's a plot or not

Dames

What do you go for,
Go see a show for?
Tell the truth
You go to see those beautiful dames...

 

DOES IT ADVANCE THE PLOT to take time to show a romantic interlude or wax ecstatic on the beauty of women? Some say you need to tie it to the arc of the hero and heroine. Some would say you don't need a reason, people love love scenes or the like. Certainly erotica sometimes has this feature. Some just love women but most romance readers are women.

 

Last week I wrote about how prejudices diminish over societal years.

For instance:

How the young feel about anybody older than them.

This week: the song Dames doesn't mind focusing on half the audience (men). The writer of the song, might not have even thought about it. Yet shows like that which the Rockettes put on are still popular to both sexes. Women watch or read the hero and enjoy the story and probably live vicariously through those beautiful Dames.The women who originally watched Dames probably also enjoyed the genius and artistry of Busby Berkley and the looks and voice of Dick Powell (the hero).

 

I told the writer in my critique group with girl problems to write-on. Some others disagreed.

 

I couldn't find the movie clip in which Dick Powell tries to persuade the producers and backers of the show that writing about and hiring Dames is the way to go. It's great. He, through his secretary, refuses to see George Gershwin and other luminaries but lets all the girls into his office and then, still singing, tells them not to be tardy for the rehearsal. If I ever find it, I'll insert it below, but for now know that some of the lyrics below will not show up in the clip I present and some of the lyrics are missing in the much shorter version below. You'd have to watch the movie.

Verse: Who writes the words and music for all the girly shows? No one cares, and no one knows. Who is the handsome hero some villain always frames? But who cares if there's a plot or not, when they've got a lot of dames!

Chorus: What do you go for, Go see a show for? Tell the truth, you go to see those beautiful dames. You spend your dough for Bouquets that grow for All those cute and cunning, young and beautiful dames. Oh, dames are temporary flames to you, Dames, you don't recall their names, do you? But their caresses And home addresses, Linger in your mem'ry of those beautiful dames.

I know I've been on a Busby Berkley kick. Maybe next week I'll get I'll take my time machine back to the 21st century as long as you, my dear, are with me.

Dames, 1934, written by Harry Warren (music) & Al Dubin (lyrics) song by Dick Powell and a chorus of beautiful dames (7 minutes):

EXTRA credit: do women prefer to watch men or a man in a movie or read about one or many in a book? Are women fundamentally different than men on this issue? My personal preference is to follow the heroine's story with great interest but to enjoy the chorus and in the case of Busby Berkley become engrossed in his artistry.

I'm Old and Healthy

 

I'm Young and Healthy, 42nd Street, 1933, Dick Powell sings:

 

I've always loved this song and the dance constructed by Busby Berkley. But I laughed at the line, "maybe in a year or two or three we'll be too old." I assumed it was his pick up line rather than a pervasive prejudice directed against older (over the hill) people.

As society progresses one prejudice after another is weakened. Today, we have young men singing about Michelle Pfeiffer. We have the press and the audience admiring a brave Caitlyn Jenner. On and on.

The baby boomers 50s & 60s are a huge part of our society, so why not write or produce what people of all ages want?

Dear network exec,

I've got an idea for a show. It's working title is Second Chance. It stars 50 & 60 year olds in search or love but instead of handing out roses, let's make it carnations.

Sincerely yours,
RW Richard

For those who abhor reality shows, and I know you are out there, step back, wait a minute. This basic idea could be a best selling book as well. Go ahead, write it up. I have too much on my plate right now.

I'll leave you with this thought: with the divorce rate so high and so many lonely people wanting to get it right the second or more times around, aren't your readers waiting for you to tackle this? It doesn't have to be about 1 gal and 25 guys to tell a good story.




 

Trying on wedding dresses

I'll assume every dad thinks his daughter is the most beautiful bride since God created the Earth. In this case it's true. This is not the dress she finally chose, but we all loved it.

A bride's gown is symbolic of the way she sees herself and her union. My baby wanted something elegant and sophisticated. Laura is elegant and sophisticated. She earned her undergrad in film from UCSD and her MFA (in film directing and related arts) at NYU. She's a successful director now. Don't let that angelic face fool you, there's much power and skill in this driven woman. In case you're wondering about her exotic looks, my wife is Filipina and I'm half Italian.

The wedding will be in August. Stay tuned for some pictures,

The reason brides look so incredible is because the combination of dress, bride and meaning, which makes what we see so much more than a pretty picture. We invest our wishes, we see our own dreams, we see her expectation, maybe share a little in her joy. We see life being lived and a very special part of the journey about to begin.

If you have the time, choose one or more of the below.
Top 10 classic wedding songs (8:23 minutes):

Top 10 modern wedding songs (9 minutes):

I've received many requests for the incomparable Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
Cheek to Cheek, from Top Hat, 1935, written by Irving Berlin and with all my love for you:

 

Validation

Easily missed while writing the hero and heroine is a technique I call validation, the one key ingredient to true love (and not obsession or carrying a torch which is an incomplete love). It isn’t that scene where one or both say “I love you” or the current upgrade, “I’m in love with you.” It’s not that scene where he gets down on one knee. It’s not even, “I do.”

There comes a moment when you realize somebody compatible is crazy about you and it is almost always in internal thoughts. Then you realize what you have been feeling isn’t wasted because he/she feels the same way you do. Then the couple just knows, whether they said any words of love, before, during or after their knowing. There’s not a greater feeling on this planet than the realization that you are loved and you have someone to love back. Forever, is now part of the fabric of complete surrender.

Miss this subtlety and, IMO, you have not written a complete romance.

Dick Powell sings, Busby Berkley directs the musical number from Dames, 1934, I Only Have Eyes For You.