Men and conquests September 23, 2012

Somebody loves me,

At a recent RWA meeting, I was asked if guys just try to chalk up conquests. I said I could only speak for myself. When I was on the market, I was looking for a mate. Although I dated someone that turned out to be drastically incompatible once, we both decided to keep the dating going for the sake of the one thing we did well together!

I also told my inquisitive friend that there was a basic instinct built into both men and women. Often at a subconscious level, we access someone we meet for compatibility and mate-ability. “I’d do her[him].” Beyond that, the reason for that assessment has a lot to do with child bearing.

Sure, in a society where it is easy to have fun (with birth control) some are gaming. Probably more men than women do this because of the differences in the sexes. At an elemental level, men might want to conquer and women might want the ‘right’ mate disproportionately.

So how does a gal tell if the guy is serious or not? I think, getting to know somebody by his or her beliefs and actions in life helps. If a man practices the golden rule, he’s not likely to hurt the woman.

Do onto others, as you would have them do onto you.

The problem is how can you learn this without investing a lot of time? There are no short cuts, but a conversation about life’s philosophy without being obvious is a good way to spend part of a date. Try asking a question about charity, or bring up something in the news that shows people choosing to help or not help somebody. Sometimes it is a good start to ask them if their business is cutthroats and see how they react.

Sure, you’re being manipulative, but the outcome is very important, certainly much more important than that coffee or meal you are having on your first date.

When I fall in Love, song by Natalie and Nat King Cole

 

 

HELL WEEK FOR NAVY SEALS September 16, 2012

September 16, 2012

AS TIME GOES BY

HELL WEEK FOR NAVY SEALS

At our last RWASD meeting, a former Navy Seal spoke to us about the service.

He made a stunning point. During hell week, many washed out. I think 150 started training and 30 to 40 completed. Most associated with the program felt that not wanting it bad enough was the major factor in dropping out. He went on to compare it to writing, not that we put our lives on the line. Nothing can compare to the bravery of the service personnel who protect our freedoms, but the analogy is valid for those who have the will to succeed.

Persisting in writing for years in a quest for publication is more like mellow hell years. They must continue to write without anybody telling them, “your story is good enough to be published, I’d like to take a chance on you."

People react to this long abiding rejection in various ways. Maybe they slow down. Maybe their heart is no longer in it. Maybe they write out of habit, going through the motions as time goes by.

So, I don’t want to hear any excuses. You are more than good enough to be published. Write every word, every paragraph, every scene, every chapter, every manuscript with full respect for the talents God entrusted to you.

 

Maybe we don't go through hell but for many of us it is at least years in purgatory.

  

Maybe this will inspire you.

Here's looking at you, kid.

 

AS TIME GOES BY

 

 

CAN A GUY WRITE A LOVE SCENE? SEPTEMBER 2, 2012

How a guy writes a love scene.

If he’s talented, he’ll write it just like everybody else. If he’s super talented (or working on it), he’ll build a cogent theory that fits his style and purpose and . . .

At the Romance Writers of America national convention, held this year (2012) in Anaheim, an agent asked me how a guy (me) writes romance. I swept my hand around the room and said, “everybody here has to wear different hats, they just have to make sure they fit properly.”

Writing romance is a little different from writing a love scene. Right? Conventional wisdom would say yes. I sometimes find it funny when I read love scenes where the prose seems to be written by a stunt substitute writer while doing a backflip and is entirely different than the prose in the rest of the novel. I still enjoy it, especially the gymnastics. I get what the author is doing. I mean sometimes the mind thinks differently during lovemaking. Sometimes poetic writing fits the character. A love scene is almost a timeout to write an ode to love at its finest moment. But couldn’t  the finest moment be an uncommon act of kindness? That moment you realize you’ve fallen for her or she loves you.

My theory on writing love scenes is a work in progress, but I currently believe the story, scene, and character arcs should be addressed in a love scene. Time doesn’t really stop (although it may feel like it). Even if very little changed, it’s still part of the story. The purpose of a romance is the happily ever after. Lovemaking is just one of many acts of love between a man and a woman.

 

Here's two famous scenes (total four minutes) from SOME LIKE IT HOT that doesn't forget the story, scene, or charcater arcs and it's just plain fun.

 

 

A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE August 26, 2012

Tauped out, August 26, 2012

Okay folks, I started this blog to talk about the male point of view in romance novels. I try to find the exceptions with all due respect for the rules. I can't keep finding exceptions or even discuss something fresh, but I don't want to stop blogging. So this week, I'm going to plug a fellow author's book which I feel is so important to the direction romance novel writing as to be required reading by anybody anywhere anytime who wants to write. Really—don't write, just feep reading this over and over again.

A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE: A PARODY by Court Burback

Summary/Blurb in his/her/ or shemale's words:

Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got a home with a working refrigerator, a private rickshaw driver, and a respected empire of taxidermy/fro-yo chain stores. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young codependent named Alexandra Aluminum. From the moment he sees her tripping over an angry raccoon, it’s clear that Alexandra dills his pickle. Pagan becomes obsessed with Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge—he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.

But if eager young Alexandra wants to feel the caress of Pagan’s ear hair against her cheek, she’s going to have to play by his rules. When Pagan reveals the special room he’s built to live out his sexual proclivities, Alexandra’s natural reaction is to cold cock him and call the police. But the clown chained to the wall assures Alexandra that Pagan is a stand-up guy, and if she gives him a chance he can introduce her to a world of unimaginable pleasure. Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive,” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple.

A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE is a romantic, tender tale of blossoming emotions and hardcore schtupping. A Pulitzer is inevitable.

SPAN OF CONTROL August 19, 2012

Story elements, August 19, 2012

I’m not feeling inspired this week to present something about the male point of view in romance. I’d like to talk about writing in general. I’m going to steal an idea I learned from my MBA program and apply it to writing. It’s called span of control. The theory goes, in management, you should have no more than six people working for you directly if you want optimum results. I’ve seen this number in various texts as little as three and as high as ten. This doesn’t mean 100s or 1000s can’t work for you, but that you must establish layers of control. Each of your managers can also have six people directly reporting to them.

In writing, perhaps we should not have more than six main or memorable characters during a normal book, or six main ideas in the book. Perhaps this can apply to chapters and scenes where six elements (including twists) are introduced. Doing this should optimize the number of readers or optimize the chance they ‘get’ your story or won’t put the book down. This probably applies to back cover ideas as well. A cover would be too busy with more than six things going on.

The human mind is most efficient when handling six issues, the mind tends to break down (or spin wheels) when stretched with more than six problems, and isn’t used to its potential when under six.

For reference: This whole idea started in a seat of the pants sort of way during World War 1 when General Sir Ian Hamilton asserted, “the average human brain finds its effective scope in handling three to six other brains.” Since then much research has gone into proving the theory. Many modern books on management and psychology assert a range of six to ten rather than three to six.

So who is your average reader? Isn’t clarity the clarion call of editors everywhere? Perhaps because they know that a mass market is achieved by applying principles an average reader would enjoy and understand.

If you’re in a pitch session with an agent or editor and they worry if you have too many elements, you could spring “span of control” on them OR not mention more than six ideas supporting your manuscript.

What women think of a guy and his dog, 8/12/12

What women think of a guy and his dog. August 12, 2012.

I stumbled across this little bit of lunacy by Mansome on Yahoo. I couldn't embed the video, so if you are interested click on the link and a go to link will appear slightly above it, then click on that. The 'reporter' interviews three ladies while the same guy prances out with different types of dogs to get their impressions of his suitability for romance based on the kind of dog he's with.

First of all, my dog Frankie is famous and on the cover of my first novel. So what kind of a guy am I? Hint, he's half wolf:

Here's Mansome's take on dogs and men, and the women who love them.

http://screen.yahoo.com/episode-11-what-your-dog-says-about-you-30178432.html?pb_list=c743be6d-1be1-40f2-9df5-9842156b1015

So call me, maybe? August 5, 2012

CALL ME MAYBE, August 5, 21012

For those who write YA Romance, there is much to inspire from pop music.

CALL ME MAYBE: The song and the title captures the indelicate imbalance of ego, tease, want, confusion, mixed signals, fantasy, lust, love, and dislike. It has always been a big part of young pop songs. Just to name some, Wake Up Little Susie, Like A Virgin, Put Your Records On, [what's your favorites?], to Rolling In The Deep.

So call me, maybe? Well, her emotions are on display in the lyrics, but the video has a surprise for romance writers and a twist at the end. The girl pictures herself on the cover of a romance novel with her shirtless next door neighbor and the ending, we'll, see for yourself.

Guy's POV: When I was a teenager mixed signals usually turned me off. I was logical (me and Spock). I didn't 'get' mixed signals. I didn't always give up, but it slowed me down. By the time I got through college, I recognized this as charm, passion, and love of life.

CALL ME MAYBE by Carly Rae Jepsen

I've often thought vidoes could be embedded into ebooks to add another sense (after buying the right to use), but don't know how expensive this would be.